Day 52--- The Most Direct Way to Dress Like a Loser...

You know what I hate more than the past 51 days worth of people? If you said people who wear shirts with stupid sayings on them you were correct. Nothing else tells me faster that- 1. You are not actually funny or original, therefore you purchase something with a joke on it to make an attempt at looking funny and clever. And 2. You're a virgin. There is nothing wrong with being a virgin, but if you are wearing one of these shirts, we know it is not by choice.

Yes, I have laughed at a few of these shirts in my day, but I am not laughing with you, I am laughing at you. Or the shirt, you get no credit for the joke, I want that to be perfectly clear. You do get credit for being the douche who spent $30 at Hot Topic for a shirt that says "I make lesbians go straight"... Really? Why don't you save that $30 and put it towards next months subscription to World of Warcraft, seems like a more cost efficient thing to do in this sort of economy, besides isn't that why you are living in your parents basement? We all know the only vagina you ever see will be on the Discovery Health Channel, so give it up, funny shirts will never have the same outcome as alcohol or the "date rape drug".

I'm still amazed that they have whole stores dedicated to this sort of thing, I knew there were a lot of losers out there, but I didn't know they had enough money to keep the stupid saying shirt industry in business. I could go on forever about how cool these guys are, but chances are, they know it. So instead of continuing to bash them I'm gonna post a few of the shirt sayings I found most..... interesting... enjoy.

Without further ado: (my take on what they should say, or mean)
1. Cancel my subscription-I'm tired of your issues. (I'm single)
2. I'm not a gynecologist, but I'll take a look. (please I've never seen one)
3. I put out. (I'll pay)
4. I'm huge in Japan. (OK this one is pretty straight forward)
5. I'm kind of a big deal. (I have no friends)
6. Free admission to the gun show. (I'm over compensating for something)
7. I'm not short! I'm funsize. (I'm short)
8. You're not worth my daytime minutes. (My mom stopped paying my cell phone bill)
9. I'd hit that. (I'm still willing to pay)
10. What has two thumbs up and is awesome? this guy. (I'll even pay for friends at this point)

I could keep going. But I'll spare you.


Anonymous said...

i'd still prefer any of those shirts over an affliction shirt

ScoMan said...

I have seen one of these shirts that I would buy.. and only to wear to bed, never in public.

I'm not even going to tell you which one. That's how private I keep these things. I ain't gonna go parading proudly in them.

Amy said...

Ya- those shirts piss me off. They aren't funny! They were maybe the first time. But after you wear it once, don't EVER wear it again, or I'll hafta smack you. I'm so frikin sick of the "funny" shirts.

Dorian said...

My favorite are the frat boys from Connecticut who rip the bottoms of there "I'd hit that" shirts to show...they actually "hit" something.
Translation "Wait, no, guys, really, see? I can get some I promise!!!!"

ok, let's be fair---Perhaps we should explore what they really hit...I'm guessing her name was Cookie.

Alyssa said...

I cannot stop laughing at-

You do get credit for being the douche who spent $30 at Hot Topic for a shirt that says "I make lesbians go straight"... Really? Why don't you save that $30 and put it towards next months subscription to World of Warcraft


Chatham said...

Well played! I am dying over here.

Quincifer said...

I have one and only one of those kind of t-shirts, however its more of a statement than a joke.
It says "you can't spell random without tangerine, swordfish, disco, car"
I don't find it funny, I just like it.

Dom said...

I read this whole post and didn't even get a lousy t-shirt.

Angie from Cinema Obsessed said...

Let's not forget "The man... the legend." The stupid shirt that points at one's peepee area. This one actually means "my weewee is tiny but I tell chicks its big, thats also why I drive a souped up ridiculous car."

Plentymorefishoutofwater said...

I am so with you on this. Catchphrases from popular (inane) comedies are even worse. Uch, and comedy ties...I want to strange the wearer.
Check out my dating disasters at plentymorefishoutofwater.blogspot.com/ if you get a minute, keep up the good work and consider yourself followed.

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