You know what I hate more than the past 51 days worth of people? If you said people who wear shirts with stupid sayings on them you were correct. Nothing else tells me faster that- 1. You are not actually funny or original, therefore you purchase something with a joke on it to make an attempt at looking funny and clever. And 2. You're a virgin. There is nothing wrong with being a virgin, but if you are wearing one of these shirts, we know it is not by choice.
Yes, I have laughed at a few of these shirts in my day, but I am not laughing with you, I am laughing at you. Or the shirt, you get no credit for the joke, I want that to be perfectly clear. You do get credit for being the douche who spent $30 at Hot Topic for a shirt that says "I make lesbians go straight"... Really? Why don't you save that $30 and put it towards next months subscription to World of Warcraft, seems like a more cost efficient thing to do in this sort of economy, besides isn't that why you are living in your parents basement? We all know the only vagina you ever see will be on the Discovery Health Channel, so give it up, funny shirts will never have the same outcome as alcohol or the "date rape drug".
I'm still amazed that they have whole stores dedicated to this sort of thing, I knew there were a lot of losers out there, but I didn't know they had enough money to keep the stupid saying shirt industry in business. I could go on forever about how cool these guys are, but chances are, they know it. So instead of continuing to bash them I'm gonna post a few of the shirt sayings I found most..... interesting... enjoy.
Without further ado: (my take on what they should say, or mean)
1. Cancel my subscription-I'm tired of your issues. (I'm single)
2. I'm not a gynecologist, but I'll take a look. (please I've never seen one)
3. I put out. (I'll pay)
4. I'm huge in Japan. (OK this one is pretty straight forward)
5. I'm kind of a big deal. (I have no friends)
6. Free admission to the gun show. (I'm over compensating for something)
7. I'm not short! I'm funsize. (I'm short)
8. You're not worth my daytime minutes. (My mom stopped paying my cell phone bill)
9. I'd hit that. (I'm still willing to pay)
10. What has two thumbs up and is awesome? this guy. (I'll even pay for friends at this point)
I could keep going. But I'll spare you.