When I lived in NYC anytime I had friends or family in town I would give them a tour of the city. In fact I could walk you to all of the proper destinations from the top of central park to the tip of battery park throughout the course of one day. Obviously Tiffany & Co. on 5th avenue is a must, especially if my company was female. Over 5 years living in the city you can only imagine how many times I had to go look at all the shiny pretty things I could not afford. Anyways, the reason I've chosen their employees is simple, they are all douche bags.
From the moment I/we would walk in the door they are staring down their noses at us, like we were an NBA team that just showed up to a KKK meeting. They treat everyone without an Armani suit or a Fendi purse like they were some homeless man with a fresh urine trail down his leg. Don't even dare ask a question or step too close to the counter or you will receive a glare that looks like it was meant for someone yelling in a library. I wouldn't be half surprised if they carried around tazer guns to zap the entire middle class who was brave enough to enter. I can only imagine what would happen if you got close enough to leave finger prints on the glass counters, they would probably lock you up and go Jigsaw on your ass. Even the elevator butler finds time in between pressing buttons to flash me a condescending glare our direction.
Where do they get off? Do they have to train to get this sort of attitude? Do they think that they ARE Tiffany? Or do they just hire the people who are really bitchy and asshole-y in their interviews. Either way there are a couple things that still have me leaving feeling superior to them:
A. They are pretty much all ugly (other than maybe the janitor and elevator dude). I believe this is worked into their sales strategy, they employ ugly old people so that you can feel more attractive while shopping. Which studies show that feeling attractive will make you to spend more money. (OK so I made that all up, but it makes sense to me). Abercrombie and Fitch needs to jump on this train because I refuse to buy jeans from a shirtless man-ican whos smells of the woods ever again.
B. I know that they just work there, which means..... hey, you assholes cant afford this shit either. Just because you work at the Bentley of retail does not mean you are making a $100k a year. That uniform you are wearing was on sale at Ross and your shoes hail from Payless and don't even get me started on your hair piece. You are no better than me you've only found a job that lets you pretend you are a gift to retail stop being delusional. You are not Tiffany and you are barely Co..
Phew, I feel better now that I've gotten that off of my chest. The truth of the matter is, that little rant has been pent up inside me for years every time I go in there I want to break something or spit on someone, but I don't want to disappoint Audrey Hepburn. Anyways, thanks for reading.
Scoman, buddy, I am going to find something sooner or later that you can relate to full on. You're in Au. right? I was thinking mullets or rat tails? When I was there those things ran wild! Any suggestions???