10.08.2009

Day 55--- Texas Chain-Mailing Massacre...

I assume if you have found your way to my blog today that you have some sort of Internet access. It may not be high speed but it allows you to shop, check scores, watch TV shows, read hilarious blogs ;), follow the news, have a relationship with someone you've never met, pretend to be someone you're not, stalk celebrities, stalk your friends, pretend you have friends, and maybe most importantly (drum roll) check your Email. Before you can sign up to any site, get any feed, but any toys, pay any bills, or belong to any club you have to give out this ever important email address of yours. In today's world your email address is your identity, its more important than your physical address, and if someone gets your email password, they can probably figure out how to do more damage to your life through your Gmail than they could if they had your social security number. Why do I make this point you ask? I'm not really sure, but its how I wanted to start today's blog, so read on.

I have been fortunate enough to never have been hacked from the inside. However, on a daily basis I am electronically raped from the outside by my CHAIN-MAILING friends and family. Yes, that is of course who today's blog is about, you forward happy chain-mailers. I'm gonna pick on my mom for a minute, (mom, I love you, and I'm sure I will get a text about this) but that "lovely" woman will forward me anything with the words God, Jesus, Bible, Ron Paul, Obama, or family in it. This is not a bad thing, but I have a hunch that it is probably every single email that anyone sends to her (knowing my family). I think she just clicks select all and then forward, because a few hours later I get the same emails from my little sister as well... and from my aunts, and anyone else in my family I am linked to electronically. At the end of the day when I go to check my inbox and think I'm Mr. Popular with my 30 *NEW* messages, its really the same five emails from six different people (if my math is correct)... Its not that I don't love them, I just don't like wasting E-paper, and that a real thing people. My dad is the same way, every Obama Conspiracy, Ron Paul, Social Security, petition, health care or finance email he sends right on through to me.

I don't know about you guys, but I always feel bad deleting them too. Like I should be saving them because its something my parents have given me, but I'll get over it, even if this therapy doesn't work. I always at least open them first, I refuse to delete an un-opened email, unless its about acai berry or extenze. I'm fine thanks.

Don't be fooled though, its not only my family who has found comfort in the forward button like its a nice pint of Ben and Jerry's half baked (I'm starving, and had to give a shout out). I have those friends who think that I need to read every sappy email they get, (being friends with girls, I just assume this is normal) or they link me to every video they thought was remotely funny, which being friends with me their comedy standards must be very high. I guess they don't realize that my life is flooded with hilarity, sitting alone blogging and talking to myself all day really is what I was created for. Kidding guys, keep the videos coming, especially if Zach Galifiankis is in any of them, the guy just makes me laugh.

All in all, no one hates the chronic chain-mailer, we still love you, I still love you. Its just like a gnat, if something more annoying could be compared to a mosquito, you could be compared to a gnat, slightly annoying, but doable. Your not drinking our blood like the telemarketers or the people who try to hand you flyer's while we are walking down the street. You just want to land on our faces for a second, and then your off. OK, this just got weird, and I'm gonna leave it right there. Until next time.

8 comments:

ScoMan said...

Whenever I see one email in the inbox I hope it's not a chain mail but it always is. At least your mum doesnt send you penis enlargement emails cos I gotta say, that hurts.

.:*aMbAr*:. said...

I absolutely HATE that too!!! Which is probably why I have around 6 different e-mail accounts!!!

Quincifer said...

I totally hate that too, I had to have a stern word with my mum explaining that her sense of humour doesn't match mine and therefore I do not find it funny to look at 10 pictures of animals or fat people.

clo said...

Got to hate the ones that end with 'if you're a real true friend send this back to me'...it's like electronic blackmail.

Awesome blog btw :)

Tracie said...

My mother-in-law must be related to you....because I get at least 5 of these from her a week.

I really hate those blackmail ones too, once she actually asked me why I didn't send it back to her.....awkward!

(Executive Wife) Giuliana Isabella said...

I loved this post!!! Witty! I hate chains especially the ones that make you feel bad for not fwd-ing them on...is that equal to volunteering for a charity now days??? On a side note. Your Mom can text? Jeez, my Mom can barely use her cell phone and press answer when it's ringing...she confuses the "brrrinng" with the "ding dong" doorbell...how I'm not sure...
oh and thanx, now I am hungry for ice cream too...but I am in superficial Scottsdale and so I will just eat lettuce and pretend :) XOXO

alfred said...

..well I hate that too. However, if you don't send copy of this blog to 10 friends you will turn green

Vicky said...

Someone hacked into an old hotmail account of mine (trojan horse I think) and proceeded to sell non-existent mobile phones in my name and order a game console and gadgets on my credit card, to an address at the other end of the country.

So yes, you're right. Our email addresses are everything.

And yes, chain mails annoy me, especially when you hafta send them on (I don't, and nothing bad has happened yet...) but I don't mind getting them at my day job email address... they keep me from doing actual work for a tiny while!!

Great post. Too great :o)

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