Today is about a simple set of beings, this is not a group that I hate, or dislike, and honestly I cant even say they really annoy me. But they do confuse me. They have been around for years, but its only been recently that they have made themselves known a little more frequently. Of course I am talking about the people who clap at the end of movies. They are such a simple group of people, I've decided not to be too harsh today, not that they would get my complex sarcasm. Just to be safe in case someone explained it to them though.
Before I start let me admit that I have clapped in a theatre before, out of peer pressure though. I was afraid that the all the Harry Potter nerds with cloaks and wands would bludgeon me to death if I didn't give the credits a standing O. I am all about showing your support, but that's why I paid the $12 to see it and didn't download it off of the Internet. I clap in shows and concerts, or any other venue in which there are live performers there that can hear me. But if I'm not watching the movie with the director or any of the actors, I realize that no one cares. The only clapping they really want to hear anyways is the clapping of my money into their bank account. I wonder if these people who clap in at the end of movies clap at other arbitrary things in their lives. For instance a toaster, do you think when it is done toasting their Pop Tarts that they stand back and give it a round of applause?? Or when the person they hate is voted off of Project Runway do you think that they stand up alone in their living room and start applauding. This may sound a bit nuts but really it is the same concept. Your toaster cares as much as your TV and your TV cares as much as that projection screen at the movie theatre. Call me crazy but I see no difference. The only time it is acceptable to clap when you are alone, is if you still have clap on lights, or any other clap on product.
These guys are taking positive reinforcement to the next level with all this clapping they are doing. Of course they are also the ones in a crowd to stand up and start the slow clap at the end of a really touching speech. They will take any and every opportunity they can to start clapping.
- Someone successfully parallel parks- clap
- Someone finds Waldo- clap
- Someone changes a light bulb- clap
- Someone finishes a Sudoku (only on hard)- clap
- Someone drops food in a public place- clap and laugh
These are just a few examples of places that these people probably clap when no one else would. Bed time. Clap off...