10.11.2009

Day 58--- Urinal Crowder...


Only gentlemen of my cyber-crowd may be able to relate today, girls, if you can relate. Congrats on a successful surgery.

First let me explain some unspoken guy "bathroom" code, that most of us adhere to without even knowing. Scenery: Typically in a male restroom there is a minimum of 3 urinals, (unless its like a small place) there may be two tall ones and one short one but usually a minimum of 3. So clearly the bathroom designers understood man-code. The unspoken rule is spacing, come to think of it, its really the only rule we have while in the bathroom. Unspoken RULE: Always leave an empty toilet in between you and the next guy. Situation: 3 open; you automatically head for one of the sides therefore leaving one empty in between you and the next guy who may wander in. Get it? No matter how many urinals are in the bathroom you always try and take the odd one from the wall to ensure the next guy will have ample space to do his thing.

Clearly, the group I hate are these guys who roll in and post up right next to me when there is plenty of space to leave empties in between. There can be plenty urinals all around and these cocky d-bags scoot up right next to me and un-zip, its just rude, and frankly quite distracting. Its a mental thing, and I'm working on it, but it just throws me off of my game. I wish i could say it scares the piss out of me, but really it scares the piss in me. I feel like they are looking, or listening, or judging, whatever it may be, when some dude is brushing shoulders with me I can not pee. Unless of course I'm drunk, but then I can manage to pee just about anywhere without hesitation, trees, bars, sidewalk, pants, you name it. (kidding-ish)...

I realize that sometimes bathrooms are full and its necessary to get a little up close and personal, but I'm not talking about those situations, if that's the case, I'll usually just wait for the stall to be honest. Really though what is the deal with these guys, their blatant disregard for guy code, appalls me. I may be a little crazy, but I know I'm not the only one who follows it. I've walked into bathrooms at sporting events or concerts with 30 urinals and seen guys at position 1, 3, 5, 7, 9, 11,... and so on. We all know the rules, so why don't these guys play by them? I wouldn't bring this up if I thought I was the only one who was concerned, but if I am today, so be it... I have 365 of these to write... No group is safe...

10 comments:

ScoMan said...

It's because of these guys that I fear public bathrooms.

And when I do use a public bathroom, I'm more of a stall guy anyway. That's how much I value my space and privacy (if I'm not going to let you hug me, you're certainly not going to stand next to me while I pee)

Jenna said...

i can relate. we were at the movies the other night. in a theater that seats 300 there are 6,7 people. we are in the middle of the backrow. the popcorn is in the seat to my friend's right. dude walks in....and attempts to sit down IN THAT SEAT. are you serious???

KIKI said...

I am not a guy, but I do relate. When I go into any woman's bathroom I always skip a stall and choose the next one down...and then a fat ass comes along and plops her butt in the stall right next to me when clearly there are many more to choose from. No one understands bathroom etiquette.

mylittlebecky said...

i'm a little distracted in my agreement with this post... i just have one question: what do they listen for? can you measure size-al units by their robust stream? is that what's going on here? i must know.

IronBear138 said...

Exactly! I also hate it when some guy tries to start up a conversation with me when I'm trying to piss. There is just something about talking to another dude while I'm holding my stuff that seems wrong.

plentymorefishoutofwater said...

I can't wee at urinals. If the cubicle is not free I'll give it a go but if someone comes in I pretend I've finished and come back later.

Chatham said...

It's because 99% of boys are gross, lol.

Husband HATES public bathrooms. He has a mental list of acceptable public bathrooms in our local area and will only use those, regardless of where we are. He once left me at a resturant because theirs was substandard, dubbing it "unpissable."

kaloo said...

Dude, you're fucking brilliant. This site's got a great concept.

And you ain't kidding about those guys. I never know quite what to do when they show up next to me

bettyl said...

Haha!!! It's good that most of us older females don't feel threatened in the potty room!

Nomad said...

1st of all more girls commented on this blog than guys... so much for gender profiling....

and i'm so glad to know i'm not the only one who fakes being done if someone else comes up next to me. i didnt want to admit it. but there you go... then i wonder tho if they saw me go in, and they were thinking gee that was a quick piss... idk, total mind f. its not like i analyze how long other dudes pee for, i dont know why i think they are for me...

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