10.19.2009

Day 66--- Faux-Handi-Cappers...


I want to first let all of my wonderful readers know that I just spent an enchanted day at the happiest place on earth. I'm not even being sarcastic, I was at Disneyland for about 10 hours today, and being the child that I am I loved every minute of it. Not just for the rides, the food, and the fun either, you can imagine that a social commentator/ people watcher like myself would have quite a hay-day at the most popular theme park on earth. Oh boy did I ever, I don't think the witty comment area of my brain saw a rest all day. I also found about 7 more people to add to my list of future blogs, quite exciting people there at the Land of Disney. Naturally today's characters come from the experience I just had, but they can be found anywhere that it is convenient for them to cheat the system. Normally I call them douche-bags, fakers, or liars, but for the purpose of this blog I'll call them "faux-handi-cappers".

If you have ever been to a theme park in your life chances are you have been cut in line by this group of Pinocchio's (get it?... he was a liar)... These people have no conscience at all, they either come in with the plan to fake a disability or an injury, so they can get crutches or a scooter and front of the line access for them and anyone with them. Now, normally this is done by stupid teens who find some ace bandages at home wrap up their leg and hobble into the park. It always works too, I've seen this process planned and then acted out, and apparently the parks cant really question them. Which I can understand. The group that sparked my interest today however was not a bunch of teens. They were 3 adults somewhere in their 30's or 40's, who rolled up next to me in their little 4-wheelers. Now, before you get all defensive, I'm aware that there are sicknesses that I can not see just by looking. But these 3 were next to me for a few minutes in line and certainly didn't seem to carry any mental problems. Once I noticed this I decided to watch them a bit more carefully, considering there were stairs up ahead on the Indiana Jones ride I was wondering how they would make it. So I watched as they parked their little scooters and moseyed on over to where they needed to be, no limping, no hobbling, no deep breaths. They appeared to be just fine. Now, I'm judgey, and I usually have something to say, but I just sat there watching as people around me made comments. Clearly I was not the only person thinking about finding a way to make sure they needed these rolling chairs.
I will agree that there is a small chance that they all 3 were friends with heart disease or early stages of cancer, but I'm thinking Indiana Jones is not the friendliest ride for your heart. These 3 are not the only ones out there though, I've seen it numerous times over the years. I was just shocked to see it was not teens this time. While I'm on the topic, what about these fat people who ride the scooters around?... Don't you think that not walking is what put you in that predicament in the first place. You would probably not weigh 700 lbs. if you actually tried walking around the theme park rather than riding a go cart. OK I'm tired, maybe I'll come back and edit this someday...

13 comments:

ScoMan said...

I despise these people. They think they're so much more important than everyone else so they shouldn't have to wait in line. Shoot them all I say!

Jules said...

This makes me furious! My mum is confined to a wheelchair and needs a disabled parking space...so I get to see these people a lot! I know there are some genuine unseen disabilities, but most of these look absolutely fine! Grrrr!

plentymorefishoutofwater said...

I become more convinced of this blog's genius every time I visit. This post rings true. There is an episode in the UK version of The Office where a woman tells of how she went to Disneyland and there was a massive queue for a ride, so she pretended her son was terminally ill.
plentymorefishoutofwater.blogspot.com/

kaloo said...

Those sorts are a bunch of assholes... Like most of the sorts you tak about.

Dave "Loose Cannon" Wills said...

Hmm. What about those people who are perfectly fine, healthy and ok but whenever they're out they open the glove box, take out the handicapped permit and park in the best spots.

I knew and saw kids doing this all the time in college. Many said they took their parents' or grandparents' disabled tag to get the 'perks'.

John "Salem" Purcell said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
John "Salem" Purcell said...

I love those obese people in the scooters that ride around stores. It is surely a sight to see how in America we cater to people that surely should need to get some exercise, but clearly never do. It is kind of sad in some respects.

clo said...

I HATE those people! Them and the people who hold the line for others. One minute you have 1 person in front of you the next you have 12 because their family and friends just appeared from no where! My son once shouteded at someone to stop pretending they weren't feeling well (3 year old language for 'disabled')....even annoys the kids.

carissajaded said...

Ohh these people ARE annoying. I think I just hate laziness as a whole. But I DO have to say.. i worked at a scooter store for a while in campus, and my co-workers and I once made it a goal to not stand up for an entire day.. and it was kind of fun...

Quincifer said...

This is one thing that gets to me more than most!!
My dad is disabled, walks with crutches all day every day (he broke his back, literally) so when we went to orlando disney he got a wheelchair because its too damned far to walk all day for someone like him. So I can't stand peopel who use them just because they are fat, or tired, or have sore legs. Get some freaking exercise!
Don't een get me started on how hard he finds it to get a disabled parking space because people use them all when they are fully able...

FatManRunning said...

Well, at least you acknowledged that they could have had disabilities that were not visible to you. One of my sons has a genetic disorder that caused one of his legs to grow without a lymphatic system, so his body cannot easily move fluids out of that leg. When he does move around, it is at a normal pace, but if he does too much, fluids can pool in his leg and he can develop ulcers on his skin. You'd be amazed by the number of rare conditions that are out there. Sure, they could have been faking, but they--as you or I--deserve a little grace and an assumption that they are not there to stiff you.

As to fat people not walking, let me tell you that, once you get heavy enough, even walking can be painful. I was nearly 350 lbs. when I first tried to lose weight by walking, but I fould that it was too painful to walk more than short distances. After years of losing about 10 lbs. a year, I plateaued for a while, but I built some strength. Just this year, I started a Couch-to-5k running program (thus my moniker).

During the intervening years, I had a surgical procedure that left me unable to walk any distance for a time. I had to use one of those scooters when I shopped, and I saw all of the sideways glances and dirty looks. Rather than being so angry and judgmental, why not first consider whether you should focus your energy on addressing your own shortcomings, and then extend courtesy and compassion to those around you. It really would make the world a better place.

thatgalkiki said...

I love your brain. That is all. :)

Courtney said...

I'm skimming through your blog and get to this post about Disneyland.. lucky! I just wrote a blog about how everyone should go to Disney as an adult! ...But Line cutters, they pissed me off in elementary school.. and they still piss me off now!

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