10.01.2009

Day 48--- Self Proclaimed Movie Critic... Two Thumbs down


Everybody needs friends, unless of course you are this guy, because chances are you are too good for the rest of us. I'm of course referring to the nit-picking movie goer, the one who has to find something wrong with every movie he or she watches. Apparently RottenTomatoes.com, Ebert, and George Lucas got together and made you an honorary movie know it all. Are you familiar with this douche? After living in NYC for five years I certainly am. They make their judgments about everything from the casting, to the lighting, and back down to the acting, like they were deciding who gets the academy award. Really you didn't think Heath Ledger played a believable Joker, first of all suck it, second of all, what would you have done differently??? Third, you realize this character is from a comic book, pretty sure that opens the door for some creative leeway. Of course if the movie was adapted from a book, it is doomed from the start, I'm sorry but I imagine a 700 page Harry Potter book was probably not the easiest thing to condense into a 2 to 3 hour movie. Plus, if the book is always soooo much better why do you have to ruin the movie for those of us who don't know how to read? I don't even know why these people waste 12 bucks to see the film if they are gonna bitch about it for 7 weeks afterwards. If you know so much why are you not making hit movies? Oh, that's right because you're an idiot. I imagine if I would have taken one of these guys to see Basic Instinct they would have complained that Stone had a five o'clock shadow in the middle... of the movie, always half empty with them...

Maybe I'm easy to please, I'm a guy, I like to laugh, see something blow up, and maybe an occasional boob or two (hopefully if I get one I get the other as well). Which was why until I was 15 the Lethal Weapon movies were the greatest things ever put on VHS. I wasn't walking away complaining about Mel Gibson's mullet, or the fact that someone thought Chris Rock was funny enough for a feature film, I was just happy that I was watching a rated R movie. I would have watched something with Ben Affleck, Cher, and Dane Cook in it if I thought there was a chance at sex scene. True, I'd fast forward most of the way, but still...

These are the same people who try and jump on the Indy bandwagon, they search the Internet for movies that have a budget less than a million and say it's their new favorite movie... Which they can say because they know none of us have seen it to quiz them on it. I'd like to throw two of these Indy-bots in a room and see if they have anything to talk about. Guaranteed they end up on Eternal Sunshine, Little Miss Sunshine, Punch Drunk Love, or Adaptation, sorry guys, we all saw these movies too, go a little more unknown next time.

You all officially have my permission from here on out to dump your popcorn or soda on them next time you are unfortunate enough to end up sitting next to one. Just make sure you get the refill-able size, trust me it will be worth it after all their hmph'n and haw'n... I'll give that one two thumbs WAY up!

8 comments:

Nashe^ said...

Y'know.. I agree. I may not like certain movies but I don't know why some people go to great lengths to find faults and imperfections. No director/actor can please everyone, right?

It's only entertainment after all.

ScoMan said...

Thanks for stopping by.

I have a friend who can go into great detail about what is fantastic or what is poor about a movie, and he will talk about it for weeks afterwards.

But at least we know we can trust his judgement. We don't see a movie until it passes his test.

If he hates a movie we run out to see it. If he loves a movie it's not worth watching.

I'm not sure why I'm friends with that guy...

Al said...

Right, next time i see a self proclaiming critic i will dumb my drink on their head then direct them to you to vent their anger coz im sure they will have some complaint about the way i dump it on their head!

Caroline in the City said...

Tough call.
Inside US: Charleston maybe? I live there now, so I'm pretty biased but I also love San Francisco.
Outside US: Tie between Montreal, Galway, and London.
Thanks for following my blog!

LiLu said...

I'm with you. Although I don't spend the $12 to see it in the theater unless it's an action flick... Netflix FTW!

Quincifer said...

Totally. Just, totally.

Teresa said...

Hahaahah. Sweet blog. I like it.
Also, if anyone complains about Ledger as the Joker I will personally high-five their forehead. That performance was f-ing genius.

Rachael Stott said...

My other half is kind of like this. But he isn't a critic he is more of a myth buster. He is the one that says 'What!? That is not even possible. We don't have the technology to....'
I don't dump popcorn on him, but i can glare at him in the darkness so well he feels it and stops mid sentence.

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