10.06.2009

Day 53--- Big Miss Sunshine's...



Pageant moms. What a breed these women are; ferocious, pushy, and downright dirty, just like the camera crew from Girls Gone Wild. I imagine they came from the same background as the dads who never made it into college football. Therefore, they force their sons into it starting at age 3 hoping to live vicariously through them one day. This is just a guess, but small town mom's and dad's all across this country are constantly proving my theory true.

My inspiration for today's blog came from the new Drew Barrymore flick "Whip It", I'm not going to go into detail about the movie, but I will tell you that they all die in the end. It was weird. Kidding. (Bliss) Ellen Page's mom in the movie, played by someone you'd recognize but not important enough for me to remember or IMDB was one of these crazy pageant mom's. I think she played it perfectly, rabies, drool, and all. Ellen (Bliss) was a 17 year old who cared zero about these pageants, she just wanted to dress hipster and play roller derby, (Which I'm assuming can get very fun once cow tipping and picking bluebonnets gets old) but that was not as lucrative as these pageants in her mom's eyes. There were a lot of little conflicts in the movie, but this was the main one, causing the strain on her and her mom's relationship. Just download it online and you can see what I mean.

The point is though, that these deranged mom's realize they have nothing going in their own lives so they are going to force their kids to be something they never could be, or could have been. It's blatant, scary, and it's crazy. Thank God my mom only forced me to take ballet til I was 13 before I had the balls to tell her I was not gonna live her dream any longer. I understand all families, scratch that, most families want their kids to be great, but you don't see Asian families dressing their kids up as doctors, taking them to work and forcing them to learn procedures. You don't see black families dressing their kids up as rappers and basketball players, unless you watch Maury. (Please catch my sarcasm before you comment)... So, then why do these white southern moms who didn't do squat with their lives feel like it is their duty to force their daughters or sons (some are boys) into these things. It's got to be some sort of sickness. In most cases at least.

There are a few documentaries out there that give us a peek into the madness and what I have seen has made me sick. These poor little girls crying from pain, embarrassment, losing, like its the end of the world, it's pitiful. They get yelled at for messing up walks, or forgetting parts in speeches. I can only imagine what the "such as, like, such as," girl's mom from Miss America would have done to her if she was back stage. May have been worse than the whole world realizing she was an idiot, but really America, we don't expect pretty girls to also be smart do we??? (joking Ms. F. Scott;).


I would like to see this all in reverse, when these girls get old enough, I'd love to see them put their mothers into nursing home's and then make them do geriatric beauty pageants. Big blue wigs, make up, tight dresses, I'd be there for every moment of it, sweet sweet revenge. For all the football forcing dad's we would have wheelchair fights. "I'll give you a reason to cry!", "Oh, your hip is broken, well I didn't want to play football!"... OK sorry. Tangent, you guys let me have too much freedom on this thing.

The bottom line is that these brat breeders need to be contained.

10 comments:

californiawithlove said...

A couple years ago I remember being home sick and happened upon a child beauty pageant on TV. They were in the middle of an interview with one of the contestants- a girl who couldn't have been older than eight. The interviewer asked what you do to win, and the little girl replied, "You smile at the judges and you flirt with your eyes," batting her fake eyelashes.

It just bothers me that at some point people decided its appropriate to teach young girls about "flirting with your eyes" in order win approval. Way to instill proper values about self-worth and esteem early.

carissajaded said...

Oh, as a product of one of those mothers, I cannot agree more. I cannot express to you how much I was scarred as a child. I still shudder at the thought of hairspray. And I blame my college weight gain on the fact that I was finally allowed to eat something other than tuna.

Tracie said...

Pageants - otherwise known as the systematic early, over-sexualization of young girls. My mom might not have done everything right, but at least she never took me near a pageant! There definitely should be some sort of payback for parents who put their children through this.

ScoMan said...

as always you picked another group that I just don't understand. My dad didn't talk to me for years after I stopped playing football. He got over it.

Quincifer said...

I always thought it was just an american thing, but I saw on the news the other day about a british girl who's parents had sent her to Pageant Camp in america to "live her dream". Gah.

Dorian said...

My favorite pageant parent excuse is how much personality their kids develop in pageants and hoe much self-esteem. Wait there was a typo...and then it wasn't. heh.

Executive Wife said...

Hollywood, you have a point! Some ppl have kids just so they can be the person the parents wished they were...men do that with sports too! I work with a guy that is upset his son is athletically challenged...he's really pissed. I think that blows. Other than choosing your kids name, they pretty much have an identity all their own...course choosing their name can either make or break them too! HA! Good Post Hollywood

Emm said...

You have a nice blog and a nice header! Good luck in keeping it up for a year - it is really hard!!! (but I am sure you'll find something to say!)

Vicky said...

*GASP* I saw a documentary about the UK childrens pageant scene, not as bit as in the US yet...

All the little girls looked so fake and their mothers so stupidly pushy... many of them bringing Born Again Christianity into it. Such a head f*** to watch.

There was a 6 year old girl wearing contact lenses because Mom said she looks better without her glasses!!

I hope the moms can afford the therapy bill later on in life.

miss moose said...

When I was a young teen, I went to Pony Club. The mothers there were exactly the same. Luckily, my mum was not one of them, but I would watch in horror as these other mums would scream at their little girls when they hadn't polished their saddles like they should have. All we wanted to do was have fun with our ponies! So yes, I'm all for containing these brat breeders!

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