9.23.2009

Day 40--- I Want to Kick You in the Blue-Tooth...



This is a warning to all blue-tooth owners, if I see you out on the street, in a club, at a restaurant, or at church I vow right now to wait for the perfect opportunity to trip you. It will be obvious, but as long as you end up on the ground I will consider it a huge success.

I understand the necessity of being hands free while in the car or maybe walking with full hands, but it is completely idiotic for you to keep that thing strapped to your ear at all times. It is not a hearing aid, or an earring, and judging by the rest of your aura, you are not going to miss any calls if you put it away. Besides, all the really cool people text these days anyways and you don't need a blue-tooth to twitter.

Ive seen people with these things on in places you cant even receive phone calls. Blue-tooth airplane guy, really? Although the government would have us believe that flight 93 was calling home without problems, I'm pretty sure you are not corresponding with anyone on the ground, I've tried. The same goes for these douchey 6 Train (subway) business men, hey Mr. popular, at least give your ear a breather while you're below ground. If you do happen to miss a call we still have this amazing technology called voicemail, fascinating, I know.

I think half of these guys just keep it on their ear because they think it looks cool and not out of convenience or necessity. I would like to be the first to tell you that no one cares about this technology anymore, at least not style wise. You are like the guy who still wears Oakley's in a room full of Ray-Bans, You're like a Mazda Miata in a parking lot full of Porche 911's. The cool point ship for blue-tooth's set sail about 2 years ago and you were no where to be found. I know it may have taken you 2 years to find a compatible phone, but we've moved on.

I secretly (well, not secretly anymore) hope they find out that these blue-teeth things cause some sort of disease, severity wise somewhere between the the herpes and cancer, I'd settle for a bad case of cauliflower though. The best is when I see these tools with the speaker in their ear and the phone in their hand... I guess your hands really were too busy to hold that up to your ear huh...? Kind of defeats the purpose, it's like those people who have the phone on speakerphone and still hold it up by their head. That's like wiping before you poop, it don't make any sense (stolen from Larry the Cable Guy-but perfectly relevant), (and I felt like having a poop reference in this blog).

Final Warning: If I catch you out in public gallivanting around with empty hands and a bluetooth in your ear with no one on the other line I will trip you. If I am with someone I will even be the one to get on all fours and let them shove you over me, just to be sure you cant save yourself... You've been warned.

6 comments:

Noland said...

couldnt agree more... they are NOT accessories and NO ONE is that important except maybe Obama & ive yet to see a photograph of him wearing one.

Anne Lyken-Garner said...

Oh, I so agree with you. I think that they think they're cool. How silly to think that if you're not on the other side of the phone, every second of the day, the world would come crumbling down. I love your humour!

Chelsea said...

yes i too agree.. it also makes them look pretty dumb when they're sitting by themselves in a restaurant talking on one, which makes them look like theyre having a convo with themself.. shame

Dave "Loose Cannon" Wills said...

lol..i so think the same thing...I wear mine only when driving and soon as I get out of the car I take it off and turn it off till I get back in...it looks so ridiculous on the ear all the time...silly people...it's like the guy I know who insists on keeping all his secure data on floppy disks...Arrgh!

Margo said...

Whenever I see people wearing them in public and are talking to themselves I immediately think they are talking to me. Half of the time their hair are covering these tiny devices so I'm not really sure they aren't talking to me until I hear, "What's for dinner?". Then I know I am not cooking dinner or ever would for anyone that has an earpiece in all day.

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