Day 34--- "Oh, I'm Not That Hungry"...

Everyone loves going out to a nice meal with a group of friends, especially this next person. We all have that friend who will go out with a group and when its time to order they will claim that they are not "that" hungry. (Key word being "THAT"). They may even say I'll just have a bite/nibble/taste/sample/of yours, just so you are not surprised when the food comes and they start devouring it. You've seen this stunt before but you cant force them to order, and you don't want to sound greedy so you act like its no big deal (when we all know it is).

The food finally comes. Shamelessly, without skipping a beat, and ordinarily before you've had a chance to take a bite they scarf down the first thing they can reach. You think, OK, there's your taste, but deep inside you know its just begun. By the time your plate is half empty you realize that you have only taken about 3 bites. You've been had, this is commonly referred to as "the cheap ass friend who really is hungry but doesn't want to pay so they will syphon food from everyone else at the table and then not offer to pay", anything or (T.C.A.F.W.R.I.H.B.D.W.T.P.S.T.W.S.F.F.E.E.A.T.T.A.T.N.O.T.O.) for short. Because if they did offer to pay for half of what they ate they would end up having to pic up most of the check for the table. I'm one of the cheapest bastards I know, but I still man up and buy my own food. And if I ever claim to be not hungry, I've either just eaten, I'm being super cheap, or I'm lying, but I certainly am not going to clear everyone else's plates.

If you are one of those people that is too nice to say anything and you always end up leaving these group meals still hungry due to the food thief. You just have to remember who they are and distance yourself from them next time you go out. If you happen to get stuck within reach and they pull the not hungry bit, feel free to let them know when you find their hands in your plate they will be pulling back nubs, unless of course they want to pay half. There is certainly no shame in standing up for your food and for yourself, your stomach will thank you.

Tell-tale signs of the food thief:

1. Someone who often complains about money, but still wants to go out.

2. Someone who has no problem asking to borrow things, but never returns it.

3. A fat person who claims they are not hungry. (we are always hungry)

4. ANY stoned person without their own food in front of them.

5. Anyone else think of any?????