Day 31--- Two Space Takers...

For those of you who don't have to drive and worry about parking on a daily basis, consider yourself lucky. I know for the past 5 years living in NY has spoiled me with the convenience of public transportation and walking everywhere I needed to go. I had started to forget about all the d-bags on the road out there. A little more specifically the tools that think it is necessary to take up two parking spots with their mammoth SUV's. This is really unnecessary, all parking spots were created equal and can easily accommodate all types and sizes of vehicles. I guess these people think that their tank is special and deserves the two spots the take up so nobody can ding their car. When really they should be more worried about the nice new key-made pinstripe down the side of their car. It is hard enough to find a parking spot here in LA without these jerks monopolizing parking spots.

Ive decided that I am going to start carrying mini tire puncturing nail strips to place behind the wheels of these cars. I won't be a dick about it though, I'm going to leave a friendly little note that says, payback is a bitch attached to a business card to the nearest "smart car" dealership.

The same goes for those of you who want to park half-way in a parallel parking spot thus taking up two potential spots with your one car. Once again it is hard enough to find spots here in Hollywood without having all these Escalades, Navigators, Tahoes, BMW's and so on acting like they own the lot. When it comes to driving this is just about the same as cutting someone off or tailing them too close. Which we all know is the leading cause of road rage in the U.S today. I'm sure at one point or another we all suffer from road rage, but I'm here today to admit that I suffer from parking lot rage, it is less frequent but equally as aggressive as road rage. So watch out.

It will be even worse if I see you getting into or out of your car once you have completed an ass hole parking job. Because Lord knows I have a bad case of not keeping my mouth shut when I should (not quite as bad as Kanye West's case, but he is borderline retarded). I will probably say something to you, as long as you are smaller than me and don't look like you could be carrying a gun or a knife. So basically if you don't have blacked out tint and spinners I'll be preparing some words. Its more based on principle at that point, I just want to make sure you know that everyone hates you for what you have dont. It really does not take much to be considerate and pull straight into the spot, and if you cant figure it out you should not be driving period. When in doubt, just say to yourself W.W.K.N.D., what would Kanye not do?

Off topic (and its my blog so I'm allowed):
I just got through watching the VMA's and I had to comment a few quick things, mainly so I can look back someday and reminisce. First of all, the Michael Jackson Tribute was epic. I think Madonna spoke beautifully and really made us remember that as weird as he may have become he still was one of the most talented performers that ever walked/will ever walk this earth (or moon for that matter-get it). It really is hard for most of us to imagine what it would be like to be thrust into stardom at 6 and grow up without a childhood. I had one and I still act like one 90% of the time. His music and his performances were world wide and though he may be gone his legend will live on, he truly was and will always be the King of Pop. Lady Gaga, that is one strange broad, her performance was pretty rad, but her costumes looked like something from "Where the Wild Things Are", we understand you have a ski-slope for a nose but it would become less noticeable if it was not covered 83.7% of the time. She should have written a song called butter-face. If her and Adrien Brody dated they would never be able to kiss for fear of face puncturing wounds. OK I'm over it. Katy Perry and Pink yes please. Megan Fox, overrated, I'm not saying she is ugly but she looks more and more full of herself every time I see her. Eminem is still cool, but he needs to eat. MUSE rocked as always, I'm glad they are finally making their way to the U.S, maybe next year their tour will actually make it to the west coast. Taylor Swift, of all people for Kanye to mess with I think she is the least deserved. She is young, classy, non trashy pop star which is few and far between these days. I don't think anyone cares how good the video was Kanye just needed one more chance to prove himself as the huge douchebag he is. One thing to say about him, is at least he is consistent. The asshole needs to be reminded of what it is like to have a broken jaw again though. I don't think I have ever had less respect for a performer in my life, he makes Marilyn Manson look like Elvis Presley. I hope after that stunt his approval rating is lower than Bush's was a year ago. Eh, asshole. Beyonce, Ive always liked her and thought she was a great performer and so on, but last night she showed that she is also classy. My respect went up for her ten-fold (which I'm not really sure how much that is), but she proved that a diva that big can still remember where she came from. All in all, I was far more I'm pressed with this VMA's then I have been in years, I guess I'll be back next year to watch again.

ps..... I know the picture is small, but its not always easy to find these things.


Dorlita Jones said...

I agree with your thoughts about people who take up two parking spaces. I think we as civilians should be able to put a ticket on their vehicles that charge a rediculious amount of money just because. We should be our own parking police.

Noland said...

Muse is opening for U.2 on tour right now i think.. have you looked into it?

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