Today I am dealing with yet another group that thinks that they are better than everyone else, similar to vegans, Tiffany employees, movie critics, and Kanye West. They walk among us on a daily basis casting their judgey stares and turning up their noses. I am referring to uppity bastards who claim that they NEVER watch TV. I am aware that some of my readers may be bookworms who stay away from television as much as they can because they think it rots the brain. So if I have a few less followers tomorrow I guess I wont be surprised, but considering the fact I still have about 300 of these left to write, I'm sure I am gonna offend more people along the way. With that being said...
Undoubtedly we all know, or have met someone who when the topic of TV shows comes up in conversation will look at you with disgust, like you just mentioned that you like watching animal porn. They will follow that by biting on the tip of their bifocals and utter something along these lines of, "oh I don't watch TV, there is never anything good on and all it does is rot your brain anyways." Maybe this BS excuse worked 20 years ago when there were only 3 channels that came in, and you had to choose between M.A.S.H, the news, and that white dude with an afro who was always painting (who by the way has never sold a painting in his life). I will allow you to be too good for TV back then, but no sir, not these days. Not in the days where basic cable alone comes with 50 channels, there is ALWAYS something you can watch, truth be told even the Public Access channels are better than M.A.S.H.. (Did anyone watch that show? When I stayed home from school and all that was on was that piece of shit and soap operas I would have much rather been at school).
But back to these non-TV watchers, I know that most of them also like to claim that books are the only entertainment they need but as entertaining as books are, this is just nonsense to me. That's like a blind dude who says he doesn't want to listen to music because he really enjoys reading braille and fingering those little bumps is enough for him. I understand that books are great, most of the time even better than the movies they are adapted into, but these two things are allowed to cohabitate books and the tele are allowed to live under the same roof condescending librarian lady. Don't try and use the excuse that there is nothing on for you, they have literally produced channels for everyone these days, so you have no more excuses. If you are a hard core nerd you've got the Discovery, Health, and History channels, if you are an adult stuck with a child's mind you've got Disney, Nick, and Cartoon Planet. Sports lovers have ESPN, women have Lifetime, and gay people have Bravo. Teens have MTV and Vh1, funny people have comedy central, and mexicans have Univision or Telemundo. You could not possibly want to read a book with this type of a selection at the tip of your remote. With the invention of DVR TV is even better, you don't even have to be home to see the shows that you love, so you can watch what you want when you get home from your book club meeting.
I have no problems with people who love to read, I have read a book before, and it was a decent experience. You can learn a lot from reading, and even if you are not reading just holding a book in your hand makes you look 9.56% smarter. So it is not the book lovers that I am directing this at. I just have a problem with people who think that they are better than me because I like to watch an unrealistic show about high school kids in a glee club. I don't judge you when I see you reading a book about vampires, OK yes I do but still...
The invention of the TV is almost as impressive as the wheel and you cant deny that. I mean, if they would have made the television before the wheel we probably would have never even needed it, people would have been just fine sitting in their caves watching Moses part the Sea on the news, or watching gladiators on the sports channel, I bet you Jesus might have even had His own Reality Show (the original "survivor")... Where am I going with this? I don't know, this blog could have been fine with a few personal jabs at non TV watchers and here I am lost in the pre-historic/biblical period. Wow. I guess that's what TV will do to ya... Brain rotted.
On that note, I'm gonna leave you with a list of 10 shows that you need to watch, that is of course if you are not too good to turn on the ol' boob tube:
Dexter (serial killer cop who kills serial killers, brilliant)
Weeds (mother of 2 who sells pot to survive)
Californication (writer in LA, umm and lots of sex)(and no I am not sponsored by Showtime)
Heroes (A show about super heroes among us)
Greys Anatomy (doctors, sex, and drama)
Modern Family (just plain funny)
Arrested Development (brilliant comedy no good way to explain just watch it hulu.com)
Lost (I'd like to tell you what this show is about but I'm not sure yet)
The Office (our spin on the British comedy set in... you guessed it, an office)
Shark Tank (a show about inventions and investors, I love love love it)
Rob and Big (if you just want to laugh and not have to think)