1.14.2010

Day 151--- Hide Your Razors...


I am shocked that I didn't have more people trying to stick up for wrestling, I know that there are plenty of you guys out there... It is probably safer for you to remain nameless though. Today's post features a group of people that have swept the world over the past 10 or so years... Emo Kids...

If you would have shown me a picture of one of these kids ten years ago and told me that in 2010 half of our high school and middle school population would be flooded with them, I would have laughed in your face. But it takes less than 7 minutes at the mall, or on Myspace to realize that the younger population has indeed been infected... Its as though they were bitten by other Emo zombies thus slowly infecting the the world over time... I am not one hundred percent sure what it takes to be truly classified as a proper emo child, but I have a few ideas of things that may be involved...

Black, they have quite the infatuation with this lack of color, but remember if you reach goth you have gone too far though, so proceed with caution. Now, they do have some things that are colorful, but they are very selective about letting any color/brightness into their lives, maybe a headband or the occasional bracelet, but other than that the absence of color is appreciated... The darkness includes their hair, studies show that emo's alone could keep the hair dye business afloat, even if the rest of the world was bald. It does not matter if you were blond, brunette, or red, going into this "scene" you will be leaving pitch black... Speaking of hair, you will want to invest in a hair straightener, this will quickly the become the MVP in your preparation arsenal. You will want to make sure you know how to use it as well, how else would you create those creepy bangs that will hang down over your eye... (Yes, Just one eye, which one is up to you)... You cant forget the makeup, I don't know specific makeup types, so we will leave it at, dark eyes and a pale white face, whatever you need to achieve this, that is the makeup you should buy. Basically if you don't come out of the bathroom looking like someone from the Twilight movies, you must have done something wrong... The last thing that I can think of without really researching these gentle beasts is that you will need a pair of extremely tight pants. For the girls this really should not be too much of a stress, but if you are a boy your best bet is to just steal a pair of your sisters pants. If you are truly going to be a success in the emo world, you will be skinny enough for them to fit, so don't worry... With that being said, emo is not for fat people, sorry those are just the facts of life...

There are also a few skills that you must possess in order to continue on with this life style... First thing you will want to know is how to cry on command, the only true test of an emo. Next you will need to be able to walk using the vision from just one eye, as I said before, the other one will be covered with hair. Also as mentioned before you will need to learn how to to use your straightener like your life depended on it, it will pretty much be as useful to you as air. You will need to know the proper way to utilize the Myspace angles while taking a picture, if your photos are even a fraction off from other emo's they will know you are a fraud... You will want to try your hand at some poetry, chances are you wont be any good at it but this is not the point, expressing emotions is. If it turns out to be any good, you should definitely form another cookie cutter band in the likes of The Used or Dashboard Confessional. This is the best way to fully express your emo-ness, at least in my opinion... Another way some choose to express themselves is via razor, while I think that cutting yourself is a big no no, I also do not flat iron my hair. I have surrendered to the idea that I just wont understand everything in this life...

I have created a drinking/card game that features emo's. I have done this because Lord knows they will never be able to contribute anything useful on their own other than fishnet gloves and, sweaters with thumb holes, and tear free mascara. (OK, I guess those things are pretty necessary). My game is simple, its called "Guess that Sex", basically there will be a standard deck of cards, all with pictures of emo's on it... The object is to try and guess if the picture is male or female, you guess correctly everyone else drinks, if you are wrong, then you do... You may think that this will be simple, but I have been playing this game silently with myself at the malls, and lets just say I am definitely not sober by the time I leave...

28 comments:

Formysake said...

I was in high school when the whole emo thing bled across the world. And yeah, the tight pants and dark hair are their quintessential element. Except for the cutting part, I don't think that was ever really fully justified.

Natalie said...

I'm curious how the tight jeans are comfortable for a guy. Technically speaking it should be very constictive to the boys. Which leads me to believe that all emo's are girls or have been turned to girls by squeezing their balls to death. I just won the game.

Emo=emotional

Lerwill Momma said...

So. Nice post, which is truley an opinon. I am a passerby, and just wanted to comment. I feel like Emo is just another fad, as the bellbottoms and frizzy hair was. It does not change the soul of a person. We are each granted a life, that we are able to form our own personalities and lifestyle. I fully believe that the vast majority of those emo kids your talking about, will eventually snap out of the fad, and become productive people in society.

Blissseeker said...

Cutting is a symptom of certain mental illness such as Borderline Personality Disorder. I think teens with these illness' are drawn to the "emo" look as it displays how they are feeling on the outside. That being said, it has become a fad and the majority of the kids do not have MI and do not cut.
My son is not a full emo. He has a band, he has a shaggy hair do and has tried straightening it but we all made fun of him so he now allows the curls to show. He is into the tight pants though. This scares me. We went to the mall and while he was in the change room I asked they guy working there where we could find even tighter pants. (my son's request) He told me that the boys are actually buying girl's jeans now. This is where I draw the line! Someone is really missing the boat on this one! How is it that none of the clothing companies are making skin tight skinny jeans for boys? It's what they want! cha ching!!

Candice said...

I'm glad this craze wasn't around when I was in high school. I would have really looked like shit in skinny jeans.

LMJ said...

yeah, we those when I was in high school and in college. they were very scary.

I befriended one and turns out, she was just like the rest of us, but with a really bad haircut, and ugly black clothes.

Mr. Knucklehead said...

"I'm going to express my individuality by looking exactly like all my friends."

Of course, if you HAVE friends, are you really emo?

Shanna R. Riker said...

I think you forgot the loud scream as they sing, but everything else seemed right on target.

Christopher said...

I love the lawnmower picture, great stuff.

Juliana said...

I freaking LOVE your blog, but I have told you that. Just shared it with my husband. I am SOOOOO not into this whole emo thing. I mean I simply do not understand how these boys with painted on jeans, eyeliner and slash marks all over their arms are going to attract others...then again they do. This is a scary thought. These EMO's will be ruling the day in the futre.

ScoMan said...

I can't believe it took you this long to get to emo's.

But while we're on the topic, I saw a blonde emo the other day, it almost caused me to run off the road in a "What the..." moment where I turned and looked backwards while driving. Not safe.

I know he was emo because he had the blond hair straight and covering one eye, tight black pants with chains, a black shirt and fluffy blue jacket thing.

Kyle said...

The tight pants...I'll never understand the tight pants. I'd be sad if I wore tight pants all time, too.

Sara Marie said...

I would love nothing more but to play that drinking game with you. Come to Denver when I get out there and we will play with with real people, not cards.

angel6033 said...

Its like everything that becomes popular the emo thing is just a fad, and its sad because like another commenter said its actually a serious thing if a tennager does cut or have suicidal tendencies,its sad that doing that has become an"in" thing. It blurs the lines for thoose that really need help.

Candice said...

seriously the ugliest style I have ever witnessed in my life. And also, SWEET drinking game.

Nomad said...

i thought you would enjoy my game.

crystal wine glasses said...

only ever knew how to hide them in my bra or under a finger nail, back in the days when females where NOT searched going into clubs..

crystal wine glasses said...

Show her your furry areas, point to them and say "See this? I need to cut it! Get me razors"

I'm sure that'll work

Parents are more understanding then you give them credit for.

pawan tekchandani said...

Your site is awesome for all people. knowledge area on web.
i would like to comment on your blog.

Web Developer India said...

the whole emo thing bled across the world when i was in the school class.

Web designer India said...

Love this picture, nice..

Web Developer India said...

I think also you forgot the loud scream as they sing..

web designer india said...

I was in high school when the whole emo thing bled across the world. And yeah, the tight pants and dark hair are their quintessential element.

web design india said...

I would love nothing more but to play that drinking game with you. Come to Denver when I get out there and we will play with with real mans.

Web Designer said...

I freaking love your blog. This is awesome!.. *thumbs up*

SEO Delhi said...

I am shocked that I didn't have more people trying to stick up for wrestling, I know that there are plenty of you guys out there... It is probably safer for you to remain nameless though.

DotNetNuke Development said...

This is awesome!.. *thumbs up*

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