I am glad to see that no one had any arguments sticking up for those who talk in theaters. They really are the most despicable amongst all creatures. Today I have decided to write about a group of people that I don't necessarily hate, I just don't know how they are what they are. "Morning people".
The words "rise and shine", are not in my vocabulary. I do not understand how people can go to bed at 10 P.M. and wake up before 8... This has not been a regular occurrence for me since I was forced to get up for school on a daily basis... Maybe this is why I have rebelled to the point where my average bed time is 4-5 Am. and if I wake up before noon or 11 I must have plans... I know to the average person with a 9-5 this may seem like something only lazy people do... Which I can understand, but I assure you I can get just as much done when the sun goes down as they can do in the middle of the day. I am pretty much a vampire. Morning people just seem like robots to be, up at the crack of dawn with a coffee and the morning paper, as chipper as someone on 50's TV. This coffee stuff would have to have a gram of crack in it for me to be smiling that much at 7 in the morning... I have almost created this alternate universe where I don't even understand things that go on that early. Like if I have a flight at 8 A.M., I treat that thing like most people do a 4 AM flight... But where they would go to bed earlier to get up in time, I just stay up the extra two hours and get on the flight. At which point I am delirious as can be, every five seconds worrying I've lost something... Really is not the way to travel, but that's how I roll...
If you ever hear me utter the words "good morning" it is very likely that you are sleeping next to me and I had to go pee, or that we've decided to pull an all night-er. I hope and pray that when I get older that I am still able to sleep in, if I start being woken up by my oldness I may just pull my own plug. The number one reason for me not to have a kid at this point in my life is because I don't want to have to wake up early to take care of it, call it what you will at least I can admit it. Same thing with a dog, I'd love to have a dog, but those things like to piss at about 7 or 8 in the morning and as far as I am concerned those times do not even exist. I may as well have a watch made that does not include the hours most people call morning. They would just be a waste of space.
The greatest invention for people like me has got to be breakfast for dinner. How amazing is it that you can sleep past eggs and bacon o clock but still treat yourself to a nice breakfast platter, that is food at its finest... You don't see them reversing the role for those morning people out there do you? You don't see them serving cheeseburgers and beer for breakfast do you?... So this clearly shows who is the more important group. The only sad thing is that McDonalds has not quite boarded this train, their breakfast is heavenly, but not enough to get me up and to a Mickey D's by 10:30... They do not understand how much more money they would make off me if they just served breakfast all day. Oh, I am getting hungry at just the thought.
If you are a morning person, I suggest just being a morning person to yourself. Don't you dare try and influence me and my sleeping patterns. If I want to have a mini hibernation every night I reserve the right. A little 8 hour coma never hurt anybody. I think the next time I live with roommates this question will be on their application... Are you a morning person? Because if you are we will either not get along, or we will never see each other... You guys are not bad people, you are just mislead about when all the excitement happens. The party does not get started until The Tonight Show is over. Enough with this nonsense about the early bird getting the worm, you guys may get the worm, but we had a full steak dinner while you were tucked away. Sorry for the dull life you lead... Honestly I have just been very fortunate that all of my jobs thus far have been either places with night shifts I could cover or places that didn't open til at least 11 ish... I will continue to search these out... In the mean time I will enjoy my sleep while you guys feast on all the worms you want.