12.08.2009

Day 116--- Chatty Cathy D.D.S. ...


After yesterdays blog I was quite pleased to see that most of my readers have a similar fear of the Snuggie cult... It's nice to be on the same page... Today's group was recommended by my little sister, like 10 times, for some reason it is one of the only groups that is a constant annoyance to her. Which is strange considering the fact you usually only have to see this person once or twice a year, the chatterbox dentist...

Now when she first mentioned this to me I thought to myself that there was no way that I could make an entire blog about dentists who talk too much, but I intend to prove myself wrong. I mean, I was the kid in high school who could write an A book report full of BS just by reading the back of the book... See look, half a paragraph in and I haven't said anything pertinent, but you didn't notice, you were so enthralled by my wit and banter that you were totally digging it... OK, on to the dentist... You know the ones that I am talking about right? The guys you feel the need to play 20 questions while they are fisting your mouth, or have their fist in your mouth. I realize you probably want something to talk about to distract you from my breath, but now isn't the best time... I mean its like trying to have a conversation with a deaf person who is playing video games, don't plan on getting a response anything more than a grunt. I know you guys have all thought this while you are sitting there wishing he would just shut up. If you really need to talk at least ask questions with the potential for yes or no answers, then I can attempt a nod or some level one sign language while you have that little mini hook in my mouth.

I wonder if maybe they are just playing a game with us to see how well we talk with things in our mouth... I'm hoping that it is something more along these lines as opposed to them just not realizing the awkwardness of the situation. Besides, I know you don't care what the answer is to any of my questions, so we can skip the small talk. You are not my hair stylist or my nail lady, I am not comfortable sharing gossipy information with anyone who posts their degrees on the wall. It is kind of weird how they all seem to have such soothing voices though, its like a mix between a librarian, a hypnotist, and Michael Buble' at least in my experience. Personally I think they should just learn a long poem or a cool scene from a movie and recite it as they work, or just get the flat screen, hang it in the corner and shut up all together, this would work as well. While I'm on the subject of dentists, what is their un-healthy obsession with flossing? It's like they are sponsored by the stuff... I brush my teeth, since when is that not enough? Besides, maybe I want gingivitis, it sounds pretty cool...

Mr. Knucklehead, you're a chatty dentist aren't you? Thats two days in a row (tryin)! I bet you wear your Snuggie while you talk to patients don't you?... OK, maybe not, coulda just been something I dreamt up. Hey look guys, a full blog, and you said I couldn't do it.

8 comments:

LMJ said...

When I lived in Texas, my dentist loved to crack jokes while working on my mouth. They were the funniest too. They would crack me up a lot. I knew he was doing it on purpose; but that's cool, though. He is an awesome dentist. It doesn't bother me that they talk. It's the quiet ones that scare me!

Dorn said...

I think the chatter is a technique to calm people down who fear the dentist. I'm not one of them. Like a masseuse, I've told them what the deal is and will let them know if they hurt me. Otherwise, hush and work your magic!

Candice said...

YES!!! Although I agree with teh above comment, it's definitely a calming technique, it's just really effing weird when they ask questions and I'm all, "how the fuck am I supposed to answer?"

ScoMan said...

Firstly the only response you'll get from me playing video games is a grunt, and I'm not deaf.. I don't think.

Secondly I haven't been to a dentinst in years and this is one of the reasons why. Who sticks their finger in someones mouth and then asks them to speak?

Someone who doesn't mind losing a finger that's who.

LMJ said...

So, we know what annoys you, but what makes you happy? Stop by, I got a What makes you happy award for ya!

Mr. Knucklehead said...

Nah, not me. Chatty yes, dentist, no. Don't worry, I'll let you know when I fit the day's category.

And to be clear, I didn't say I WEAR as Snuggie. I said I'd BOUGHT a Snuggie for my fiance. Fine line, perhaps, but there it is.

angel6033 said...

I have never had a chatterbox dentist but what I did have was a DRUNK dentist! I was like 12 and this dentist reeked of alcahol every time he got clost to me to eximane my mout I would smell it! I was pretty shocked, when I walked out I told my mom who later reported him, I dont know what happened but I rather have a dentist that talks to me than one that is so drunk he'll drill a hole in the wrong place lol..

Allyson said...

this is not as bad as the ob-gyn trying have a conversation with you during your yearly check up...only you ladies know how awkward this is

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