12.04.2009

Day 112--- White Rice, Fried Rice, Sticky Rice, Rice Boys...


Today's group brings me back to my days in high school... Although I do not see these people quite as frequently as I did way back then, there are still a few of them out there... I refer to the "cool" dudes with the overly tricked out cars. Emphasis on the exhaust and spoilers...

To be frank when I was 15-17ish and The Fast and the Furious had just come out, I too thought that I would be the coolest kid in school if I could only trick my car out... There was a time where it was cool to have a roaring exhaust and an obnoxious spoiler that raised a foot off of your trunk... But just like the decline of the popularity of the beautiful El Camino, rice boy cars have since become a thing of the past... The sad thing is, that not everyone has received that memo... I think in today's society the popularity of certain items travels in waves, obviously larger and wealthier cities experience these things first and then once they become less popular there they become more affordable in middle America... For instance, 1999 cell phones are owned by over 98 % of people in NYC. 2009, Nebraska just rounded 90%. That was a long drawn out way to tell you that I think the same thing is happening with these cars... All of a sudden these douche bag college kids in the middle of the U.S. can afford a 2000 Civic, so they buy one and go nuts... Not taking into account that the popularity of this trend is as far gone as Jncos, not that I ever considered those popular...
Lets be honest, its never some cute girl who is driving one of these noisy things either... It's always some homophobic college kid with a popped collar and a blow out hair cut... It's the kid who thinks that beer pong is a sport and thinks flipping an empty cup is a talent... Its the jerk off who pulls up next to you at a stop light turns up his music and then revs his engine, as soon as the light changes he is the one who peels out and fishtails because he hasn't quite learned how to control the thing yet. He is the same kid you secretly wish would pull out just as someone accidentally runs the red light. (Just so it will F his car up, not him, well maybe not)... This is the kid who will find a reason to take his keys out at any chance possible so someone will ask him what kind of car he drives. Or the same kid who will constantly try and change the subject to cars so he can bring his up, the kid who has NOS in his car, even though he will never have a good opportunity to use it. The kid who idolizes Vin Disel and Paul Walker, clearly not for their acting skills. He is the one of 9 people who owns "Tokyo Drift"... He is the kid who still goes to the arcade, and gets mad when he gets beat by the computer in Cruisin' USA... This is the kid who will spend more on car parts than he did on his car, the kid that saves up money to put stickers up from parts he doesn't even have on his car. This is the kid that thinks his black graphite hood will really help him go faster to and from school. Basically, he is an annoying douche that is stuck in 1999 and needs to be put out of his misery...

Who better than to put him out of his misery than my readers... I have faith that none of you guys fall into the rice boy category, there is nothing wrong with having a nice speedy little ride, but spoilers that look like field goal posts and exhausts that put the Harley riders to shame have got to go... They are as far out of style as Nelly. I don't want you guys to do anything to hurt them, this is clearly a sickness that they have, but I do want you to post notes on their cars... Rude and straight to the point work the best, use words they know, so make sure they are short. Nothing too sophisticated for these guys... Thanks again.

9 comments:

LMJ said...

I've never been into cars. I always wanted one that wouldn't break down on me in the middle of the raod, and that's it. It was always simple and easy.

I dated a guy that drove an old ass car with all kinds of "upgrades" on it. The speaker on the trunk always made my entire body tremble. for all the money he spent on that old ugly car, he could have just gotten a new nice one. This car had all the bells and whistles; unfortunately, it would leave us stranded all the time!! LOL!! He also had a very fancy car alarm in it. For what? Car didn't even run!!!
I'm LMAO as I remember all this.

angryredhead said...

Don't forget the obnoxiously loud "music"...or steady stream of bass that eventually rattles apart the car. I live in a neighborhood filled with these idiots.

P.S. you should do one about picky eaters.

thb said...

i totally agree with you. so not attractive either. i do have to admit, i love the Fast & the Furious movies. the only one i do not like is Tokyo Drift. (it shouldn't even have the Fast & Furious name attached to it.) all they are missing is a neon glow under their car.

ScoMan said...

Actually where I grew up it was mostly girls frying the rice. Well, girls and girly guys. The guys usually went for the pure power of an 8 cylinder, whereas the girls wanted something pretty.. And Vin Diesel.

But that area has a huge car culture, so everyone needed something.

Dorn said...

You're right about the delay from coast to the midwest...but understand that the midwest doesn't have diversity down like others. Cars are universally appealing to all young guys growing up in the sticks. And of course, you know what they say about the size of the spoiler...or wait, was that the size of the Nikes?

Blissseeker said...

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angel6033 said...

OMG!! I so totaly and completely agree! I hate hate, loathe this kinds of people, such an f-ing pain in the butt!! lol...

Mr. Knucklehead said...

Wait, there are really nine people who own "Tokyo Drift"???

AngeliStarr said...

LOL growing up in the house with a mechanic/car junkie i know my car ish... and lets just say my father will KICK my ass so hard I will no longer have one if i was to ever even contemplate owning anything that looks like the pics you put up.

However, recently, Ive been wanting to buy my (almost) namesake... Corvette. OMG. Im so in friggin love. Now if only I had the money to buy it and garage to park it in... It would be in my possession already.

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