2.01.2010

Day 163--- Oldie But a Goody...


Well, I don't want to call it too soon but it seems as though my run on blogger idol is coming to a painfully slow end. It has been a great competition and I wish the best of luck to the last two who get to go head to head... I also thank all of you from the bottom of my heart who went out and voted to support me each week... I'll probably put together a better thank you post in the next couple days that gives more specific shout outs... But since I just worked my first day in over 8 months I am pooped... I missed a few days during the competition because I wanted to leave up the posts for you to vote on, but I am going to make them all back up over the next little while so I can still hit my 365 people quota... Today I have decided to write about everyone's favorite bar fixture; the old man who who is always there by himself...

OK, maybe not everyone loves this drunk mess of human, but I am sure you have at least gotten a kick out of him a time or two... Now, there are certain bars that are made for old people to go to, like Cheers, and that is perfectly acceptable. But that is not who I am referring to, I am talking about the 65 year old guy who time and time again is right there in the middle of the local college bar... We've got Drake and Lil Wayne blaring over the speakers and here is a gentleman who thought Elvis was risque' when he was our age... A serious case of one of these things is not like the other... I imagine that there are a few girls out there who enjoy this free drink machine, a few seconds of senseless flirting and no doubt he will buy them a drink. But I have also seen these guys just sit and drunkenly stare at girl after girl... Of course I notice this because I am staring at him, but I'm a people watcher, that is my job....

The only part of these old men that I benefit from is watching them step onto the dance floor. Everyone knows that the only thing funnier than a white man dancing, is an old white man... OK, it is a bit sad, but its funny at the same time... Its like watching a train wreck over and over and over... I'm sure if I wasn't totally freaked out by the majority of these guys I could probably hear a good bit of crazy history out of them... It may all be personal history, but that is something you cant find in text books... I may actually have to do an interview series at some point in my life where I go around and talk to all of these guys and find out why they are alone at some college bar at 2 in the morning, other than in hopes of becoming a sugar daddy of course...

Since I have not had many first hand experience other than observing these guys I asked my girlfriend for some input... Apparently the majority of them are quite fond of tight jeans, she thinks its so that they can poke people with their bulge, I personally think they might just be trying to get on board with the hipster style, who knows... She also says that not only do they dance alone spinning around embarrassingly with drink in hand, but they frequently try and grab a hold of any girl that they can get their hands on... This sounds like any guy at a bar to me though... She confirmed that they are an endless well of free drinks, but denies ever taking advantage of that fact...

Well, my sleepy-ness has kicked into full affect, I shall be back on the grind tomorrow in full force, like I said I plan on catching up, so you guys can plan on reading plenty more from me... Once again thank those of you who supported me over my life in the contest, I'll throw up a link where you can go vote if you didn't have a chance, it would be really nice if any of you also own a football team, and can convince all of them to vote as well...


5 comments:

LMJ said...

Old man bulge...ewwww!!!

awww...sorry you didn't win. I voted for ya!

Christopher said...

A woman about that age grabbed my junk at a bar once and asked if I'd take her home. That was unbearably creepy and awkward. After breakfast I realized she was a really wonderful person with lots of life stories. KIDDING! About the last part anyway. I don't see how anyone could get drunk enough to dip into the 60's.

Chris@Knucklehead! said...

It ain't over till it's over, though. For what it's worth, I thought your Dr. Seuss post was hilarious.

Allyson said...

hey ill chat with an old guy for a free drink, sometimes they are nicer than the young guys

ScoMan said...

I remember I was in a club with a female friend at 1 or something one morning and this old guy comes over and starts flirting with her.

She's like "Sorry, I already have a boyfriend" and shoots me a look that screams "Help!"

I give her that smile that says "Sorry, you're on your own. I've got front row seats to this show".. you know the one.

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