8.20.2009

Day 6--- Wet Willy---ers..


Yes... Just the nasty name gives you chills doesn't it... If you don't know what this is consider yourself lucky to have not been so badly violated. At the same time, how do you not know what this is? these ear rapists once swept the nation. (87'-95' was when they really saw their peak).

A wet willy is when person 1 (gross) sticks their finger into their mouth (usually the pointer), gets it all wet, and then proceeds to jam it in person 2's (unsuspecting) ear. Therefore, stripping all dignity away. (as seen to the right)

Giving wet willys is such a disgusting "lost art form" that even wikipedia fails to have an article on it (which is next to impossible). There is not much that wiki wont touch.
I assure you that these people are still lurking out there. Just the other day one of my friends threatened that if i didn't stop whatever it was that i was doing, (annoying no doubt) she was going to give me a wet willy! Now, I'm not going to tell you who this sicko is, but I can tell you that she is dating my brother... regardless, i stopped.

I did not want to be penetrated by that wet phalange, no sir, no way, no how... (it sounds extra gross when put it that way I realize)... but there is nothing healthy or sanitary about what these people are doing. Next time I plan to have not washed my ears thoroughly enough and pray they go for the double dip... In this case. I win. Typically I'm not so lucky though. Seasoned "wet-ers" will lather up just enough the first time to get you good. Then run back off snickering to their cave full of other sex-offenders before you have realized what has happened.
As soon as I'm done with this blog I'm calling congress to petition that "wet-willy-ing" be outlawed. I'm sure they don't allow this non-sense in Singapore, or in any country with manners for that matter. You could lose a hand for these shenanigans in 23 other countries. Is that a fact, no, but i feel it was a very good guess. In all seriousness though you guys need to stop, if i want you to put anything wet in my ear, believe me you will know. Chances are i don't, advanced warning.
I imagine that the culprits of this activity are the type of people that will let their dog lick them in the mouth, drink after anyone, or eat gum off of the subway floor; where do they draw the line?
I don't know for sure. I really don't. But, for the rest of us, keep your tongues and fingers to yourself.

5 comments:

Sara Marie said...

don't ever call anyone a "wet-er" again.


just saying.

Allyson said...

i like the feeling of wet things being put in my ear

katheryn said...

I had the disgusting visual of someone re-licking their finger and going back for more before you mentioned the double-dipping. I shuddered once for my visual and once for the double-dipping comment. Grossy gross.

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