Day 7--- Diet Drinking Fatties

For those of you that know me you must know that it was only a matter of time before I picked on those lovely people who eat out in America. My first victim is a classic, and easily one of my favorites.

Diet drinking fatties is what I've chosen to call them. These are not people ordering salads, no dessert, and clearly being health conscious. These in-breds are the ones ordering a personal appetizer, a fried or buttery meal, insisting on extra gravy-ranch-or butter, eating every bite, complaining portion sizes are too big (in an illusion to look less beastly-doesn't work); drinking 15 diet Pepsi's (aspartame overdose), and then ordering dessert.

We've all heard that aspartame is worse for you than the sugar in sodas, I imagine we could run a few tests on these people to find out for sure. If there ever is a shortage of test subjects I guarantee you can stand by the elevator at BGSC. and find a few. They will be the people who have lost the will for stairs. Which is really an interesting concept in itself (may need to come back to this in the future). Don't you think maybe if you took the stairs it would burn off the extra cup of butter i brought you (Yes, I saw you take it as a shot).

Honesty moment: when I work, (when I had a job) I tend to drink diet soda (with lemon) because I know how much soda I can drink in a night of work. Also, I am one of those people who needs ranch for anything that is not cake or cereal. But!!! I can see my feet, I can walk up stairs, and I can tie my own shoes. Therefore, I never go out and order a diet soda and then eat like I'm Kirstie Alley. Because then I would be a complete hypocrite, and no one likes hypocrite's do they.

So I'm just saying, if you're going to eat like a pig, you may as well go all out. Have a regular soda to wash those calories down, I will actually have more respect for you. Every other server you'll ever have will too. This way when we talk about you in the side pantry we will only say, "hey look at fatty, and not hey look at that fatty eating 2 meals and a drinking diet". Once it reaches a certain point your on the road to John Candy-land anyways so why not just take that bull by the horns and live a little. No one will look at you any differently. You have my word.

Diet Dr. Pepper does taste more like regular Dr. Pepper with a hint of cancer causing material.

Sprite zero is Sprite, in a different can.

Diet Pepsi, is do-able, with lemon or lime.

Diet coke- still gross, but any vanilla product is heaven.

Fresca- deceiving. No calories. Lots of aspartame.

Orange soda (Fanta specifically).... JUST like Kel says!

Any soda i failed to mention, clearly not any of my concern.

For those who like facts:

Aspartame (or APM) (pronounced /ˈæspərteɪm/ or /əˈspɑrteɪm/) is the name for an artificial, non-saccharide sweetener. In the European Union, it is known under the E number (additive code) E951. Aspartame is the methyl ester of a phenylalanine/aspartic acid dipeptide. It has been thesubject of controversy since its initial approval in 1974. A 2007 safety evaluation found that the weight of existing scientific evidence indicates that aspartame is safe at current levels of consumption as a non-nutritive sweetener.[2]


Anonymous said...

you make a very good point here, but this is also a friendly reminder that not everyone can drink regular soda/pop(which-ever you call it). Like, people with diabetes - myself and half of my family, which includes my brother and my dead Grandpa. And, some people prefer the taste of diet over regular.

Don't assume! It makes an ASS out of U and ME. :)

P.S. Diet Dr Pepper is my FAVORITE - and all the weird flavors they make. Berries and Cream, Cherry, Vanilla-Cherry whatever it is. YUM.

kelly said...

HAHAHA! I've brought this up myself, some people argue its only about taste.

Jennifer Brindley said...

Okay dude, You had me up until this point. Diet Coke tastes better than regular Coke, period. (At least that's what my brain thinks, and that's all that matters to my mouth.)

It has nothing to do with me being half a tard and thinking that the diet soda cancels out my McFlurry. <3


angel6033 said...

as scared as I am of the chemicals and at the way people look at me for ordering diet coke and being fat, I cant help it! I love diet coke I actually like thte taste not so much that I am trying to save calories lol, oh I am helpless..

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