Day 4--- Elvis Impersonators........Imposters.

Do they really still exist? The Answer is unfortunately, Yes...Is this really the most lucrative career that these guys could shoot for? I guess when you're 55, fat, with jet-black hair, and an Elvis costume that fit 22 years ago. Clearly this is the next step in your mid-life crisis. What shocks me most, is that, if the rich, talented, once attractive "Elvis Presley" killed himself, what makes these people think its gonna be "Graceland" (lame-but necessary reference) for them...

What it is that makes them decide one day that they are sick of being an individual. (actual thought process)---->"...................Elvis" (someone who was not thinking) . Me personally I would pick someone who got a few more ladies/street cred., like Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Spencer Pratt, or Sean Astin (OK, all inside jokes) ... Think about these guys with me for a second, it really is quite a fascinating concept. I do realize that some of these people do it for fun/hobby. This blog is not directed at them. This is for the crazies who would never read this blog, because they really think they are Elvis living in the early 1970's. These are the guys who live to perform "Jailhouse Rock" on street corners from NY to LA,(higher concentration in Memphis and Vegas of course). These are the type of people that you would never let baby-sit your kids. The same guys who are trespassed from Wal-Mart because they've been caught one to many times trying on the ladies nighties and walking around the housewares section. (totally off topic, I'm just trying to prove how crazy they are). We have even had the honor of seeing a few of these kooks on the American-Idol auditions in recent years (this is clearly the originality that Simon and Randy are looking for) (i don't count Paula, no I'm not sexist, she's just an idiot).

Maybe I'm completely alone in my disapproval of Elvis impersonators, maybe I'm the asshole who just crushed your dreams, but its my blog. I see it this way; I have not given a crap about mall Santa since I realized he was not the real deal. I feel like impostor Elvis is the same thing without the presents, elves, and candy canes. On a lighter note though. I do realize the mall Santa's are necessary, I mean it would be ridiculous to think that "The actual Santa" could come down to all the malls in December when he is like at his busiest inspecting toys in the north pole. It all made a lot more sense when i realized that... But, fake Elvis= no redeeming qualities= still retarded.

I'm here today to ask when does this stop? We must put an end to this so we can make room for all the creepy Michael Jackson impersonators that you know are gonna flood are streets, schools, and day cares over the next 32 years. (<-how long its been since Elvis died) (I do my research)...If you would, please just sign my petition asking for it to be an illegal act for any man over 25 (give myself a year) to wear a white onesie, with a collar, that he has bedazzled himself. Its just not right.

I didn't know Elvis personally, but I did see enough of his crappy movies to know that he was a self respecting man. And I'm pretty sure he would be appalled at how out of hand these people have gotten, so, if you didn't do it for me...... Do it for "the King".

Thanks for reading, have a good night. see you tomorrow.

PS. yesterday i learned how to put pictures. today i learned how to tab. i cant wait to see what tomorrow has in store :)


Anonymous said...

tab? like, hit the tab button? please inform your lazy friend.

Unknown said...

Dream crusher.

Unknown said...


Related Posts with Thumbnails