3.19.2010

Day 190--- 1, 2, 3, 4 I Declare Thumb War...



People who wear thumb rings deserve no introduction...

So that is all they get... Actually, if you are a dude and you are wearing a thumb ring you deserve no introduction, if you are a girl who is wearing one you just have a messed up sense of what is right and wrong... But honestly I've never seen a girl wearing one so that means I'm going to focus on the dudes.

First of all I should let you know that guys who wear too much hand jewelry are a little sketch in the first place. A wedding ring and a watch is the maximum amount of shiny-ness any straight God fearing male should allow below his elbow. (Unless you have to wear one of those medical bracelets) I think I just feel like a dude with all kinds of sparkly shiny accessories is just trying too hard. I have always associated that amount of jewelry with rappers, gangsters, and guys who want to wear their bank account on their wrist to show off. But all of the jewelry in the world cannot compare to the lameness of the thumb ring in my eyes...

The thumb ring is like the Nickelback of jewelry, basically some people might have thought they were cool for about a week but the more you are exposed to them the more you want to punch babies... (no babies were harmed in the production of this blog)... The thumb ring had to of happened as an accident, there is no way that someone was making rings some day and thought, "hey wouldn't it be great if I made one of these big enough for my thumb?"... I think there is a slight misconception among the 9 guys who ever purchased them that they make you look more manly... I think the truth is quite contrary, when I see a gent with a ring on his thumb I'm not thinking better not mess with this guy, I'm thinking 'I wonder what ass-less chaps this dude is going to be wearing out on Friday'... (Truth be told though I picture almost everyone I meet in ass-less chaps at some point)... And I'm not saying that if you wear a thumb ring that you are automatically gay, and I wouldn't care if you were, but it would not be a huge shock if they switched that whole "right ear pierced, your gay thing" to "thumb ring, your gay"... Kind of like a new secret club.

Maybe the whole origin of the thumb ring is something really cool that I never even thought about and maybe I'm the loser for not wearing one, I doubt it but lets play with that idea for a minute... Maybe back in the gay-ties when thumb rings were invented you could only wear one if you could play a really cool song only using your thumb and the inside of your cheek... Maybe they were awarded to all the people who won the first ever thumb war championships... circa 1989. I guess there are probably about a hundred reasons I never thought about I'm almost ashamed of myself... Almost...

I just had this strange thought. What is worse a pinky ring or a thumb ring?... That is not easy... "I want something femmie, but I don't know if I'm ready to go pinky just yet"... "Oh, I have just the thing for you, we just got in this brand new shipment of thumb rings."... "Hmmm, thumb ring you say... well, sure why not... Better give me two just in case one gets stuck..." --- that was a little day dream I just had... Now I know its time for bed...

12 comments:

Lluvia said...

LOL!

I never got thumb ring! Most thumbs are short and stocky for such. But then again, some people have REALLY long thumbs, so I guess I can understand the need for a ring.

Dorn said...

An early episode of Flashforward talked about the female FBI agent wearing one and how in some cultures it is an outward sign of lesbianism. I think you're on the right track...at least with a pinky ring you've fully embraced your feminine side or you're some type of royalty.

Jewels Diva® said...

As a woman, I love wearing rings, but would not wear a thumb ring.

It's hard enough trying to open a bottle or jar with rings on two or three fingers, but have you tried opening them with thumb rings?

Bloody impossible.

..SOCIAL BUTTERFLY.. said...

all i can say is HAHAH!

Chris@Knucklehead! said...

"The Nickelback of jewelry." Perfect analogy.

Daisy said...

pinky rings are SO much worse - so much.

Kyle said...

This a common mistake, but all chaps are ass-less. If they had asses, they would be crotchless pants.

Haley said...

I have seen a girl wear a thumb ring, and it did make me want to punch a baby ... love you blog!

Amanda West said...

Dude, I wear thumb rings. And I like to think that I pull them off lovely. :)

AngeliStarr said...

I dont like thumb rings but I hate pinky rings on guys even more. -_- JUST SAYING!!!

Home for Sale said...

It was nothing special I just kept it light and fun and as long they were smiling I knew I was doing something right.

Home for Sale said...

I am same think you're on the right track. at least with a pink ring you've fully embraced your feminine side or you're some type of royalty.

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