Day 202--- Futonomics Anonymous...

This post has been inspired by a personal life situation. I am currently moving from one apartment to the next. When thinking about this annoying task I said to myself (in my head) "it would just be easier to sell this (nice) queen size bed and buy some small futon to move into the next place"... I realized at that point that I had lowered my standards so far that I was actually willing to sacrifice long term comfort for short term convenience... I am not yet sure if I have become that lazy or if I was just not thinking, but regardless I was inspired to do a blog about anyone over 25 (or out of college) still sleeping on a futon.

Years ago, when I first discovered the 8th wonder of the man made world "the futon", I'll have to admit that I was impressed... Couch by day and bed by night, what could be better, you didn't have to remove cushions like those pesky couch beds, you didn't have to pull it out of the wall like a Murphy bed. All you had to do was literally just push the back down, and presto, you have a bed.... But the older I get the more I realize that the good ol futon is more like the mullet of the home furnishing department. Sure it gives you both the business and the party option but it does it in such a white trash way... For instance, most people know that you have sex on your bed, but most people would imagine that there is less of a chance that you have done it bare assed on your couch... But the futon completely ruins any doubt that we would have in our minds, seeing as how the futon is the only real option...

So that is why in my opinion futons must be limited to anyone in college, or anyone up to the age of 25... Outside of this category I will assume that you are either still living at home, meaning the home you grew up in, and probably having your mom still make your lunch before she drives you to work. Or maybe you are a hippie, who has promised never to conform to the proper couch loving conformists of the world. Possibly you could be one of the guys who still lives the high school life, front row every football game of the season, (including away games), still attends and buys beer for all High school parties. That guy is allowed to have a futon. Or any single male (bachelor) over the age of 35, by this point if you are not rich, or at least well on your way you are probably going to end up living a very lonely life, so I'd say why not go for convenience on this one, probably not going to be sharing the bed anyways. Unless you look like Harrison Ford. Anyone who has a blog, or any other sort of web fascination whether it be World of Warcraft or website building, go ahead and have a futon as well, don't wanna have too much open space in the bed. Of course you could always just be in a band, or even just owning an instrument and knowing a few chords would allow you enough positive cool points to own a futon, we all know how cool people in bands are...

There is a slim possibility that I forgot one or two people from this list, but for the most part if you do not fall into any of these categories you should probably get rid of that futon and get a big boy bed... I have a feeling that most girls would find it more attractive if you slept in a big boy version of a race car bed like Missy Elliot than they would if they came over and found out that they were going to get poked on a futon. At least the car bed shows that you have a sense of humor... To those who have futons... Sleep well.