5.12.2010

Day 201--- Onto the Next One...


Day 201, oh boy this is going to be exciting, but really aren't all these posts pretty much the most exciting thing that people see daily? Just nod your head in agreement, you never know if I am standing outside your window or not, blogger tracks everyones home address for me.... Anyways on to the post. Ive got a lot of potential posts running around in my head but today I think I am going to blast the serial daters.

I'd say if you are under the age of 30 and have at least ten friends (not on the Internet), then more than likely at least one of the ten is a serial dater... Serial dating to me does not necessarily mean that they are going on dates with different people every night of the week, sure they count. But I am also talking about those who will go straight from one month with one person, get their heart broken, say they need time off, and then two days later being out with someone else, turning that into the next heartbreak.

Being the mama's boy that I am most of my life I have had the blessing/curse of having pretty much all female friends. While this position has its perks, ie. if I need advice on how to match an outfit or the best new chick flick to take my girlfriend to, it also comes with the strict un-negotiable title of "Resident relationship advice man from a males perspective"... While I have played my part well for the past 10-15 years I cant say that I always enjoy it, not because I don't love giving male insight and sneakily cock-blocking some dude Ive never met, no that's not the reason at all. Mainly its because half of the time my friends will come to me begging for advice and not taking it.

More often than any other problem I find that they are these serial daters. General situation, they meet someone out at a bar, he seems nice, he talks about his mom, and how much he loves puppies. He has a job, health insurance, and no tattoos on his face, so the girls instantly think he is the one for them. They don't give it up the first night, and are so pleased that he wants to go on a second date, things are still nice, he is not abusive yet, still likes puppies, and the skull tattoo on his back is only visible with his shirt off, that's fine her parents will never see it.... After a few dates, she feels something (horny), so they have sex, he acts weird after, makes an excuse to leave, doesn't text for a couple days. He makes an excuse four days later, and sets up another date, says something nice that gets her even more hooked, now she thinks this could be the one. This goes on for about a month in one form or another and by this point she is in love, he is getting bored, he starts to act different, which is really just him showing how he really is after he has gotten what he wanted. That drags on for another month or so and while she is holding tight he is trying to sneak out the window in the middle of the night. Finally things end, she comes to me, explains the situation, talks about how she just needs to be single for a while and figure herself out. Three days later, I met this really great guy out at the bar the other night--- the circle of single life, the circle of a serial dater.

As I am writing this I'm realizing that its having a slightly more serious/bitchy tone than a lot of my other posts, but I guess its just because this is a subject matter I have been dealing with silently for years. This goes for guys and girls alike, but if you don't want to have your heart broken 10 times a year, don't give it to 10 people a year. If you say that you'd like some time to yourself, then give yourself some time it really comes down to making that decision. The funny thing is that I know that the few friends I have that are in the deepest into this so called dating world are never going to read this, probably because they are too busy dating.

The biggest key words that a girl or guy can look for in a potential serial dater is, "I'm not sure what I want right now." That is code for, I'm down to put the p in the v and maybe even see a movie or three but don't expect me to put a ring on that fing-er, and once I realize you're a clinger I'll be gone quicker than a Brendan Fraser movie from the theaters. Not to ruin people's perfect vision of the dating world, but real life is probably more like Sex and the City than it is like Serendipity, not that I know what Sex and the City is like. I'd also like to point out that where you meet these potential prospects can tell you a lot about what the future may hold... Basically don't go to a synagogue if you wouldn't want to marry a Jew, even though they do have more money and power than your family will ever have. And my last bit of advice, don't date George Clooney if you ever want to get married.

Anyways, I'm going to step off of my soapbox and leave the preaching to people like Kanye West and Al Sharpton. I'll make sure the next post has more laugh potential.



23 comments:

Chris@Knucklehead! said...

You're friends with all these females and you're asking us to believe that you're not familiar with Sex and the City?

Who you kiddin', Pal?

kaloo said...

Glad I don't have that many friends. Don't have to worry about that sort of guy being associated with me... *thinks about it* Damn it Andrew. You fucking super perv.

PermaSkunk said...

Rye Guy,
My guess is that the girls will find this post offensive, and the boys will find it true. The truth be told, serial daters on the male side are usually happy doing what you so eloquently described, and the girls seem to hate them for it.

Quincifer said...

Maaaaaan, it has been a long long time since I have checked your blog out!!

And yet still I can relate! I have a friend who is totally like this. I've known him for like 15yrs and since he split with his ex about 1yr ago he has just been from girl to girl to girl to girl....every time getting too intense, she backs off, he gets pissy with her and then its over. I never known whether to feel sorry for him, or for the girls!

Daisy said...

great post - I think you've hit the nail on the head with this one!! It's hard to be a hopeful romantic stupid girl :) I think I was one for awhile (except I'm too conservative to date guys at bars) but I'd meet a nice friend of a friend etc etc - then I decided no boyfriends or relationships for a few years - it was a GREAT decision and helped me be picky enough to WAIT for a REAL good guy.

clo said...

Definately got it in one! I used to use that phrase 'I'm not sure what I want right now'. Now I see the errors of my ways. Good post...haven't checked you out in quite a while I'll have to get back to it.

Courtsparkcat said...

Haha my friend is JUST like this! She always swears she'll never date again and then legit the next day she's texting me about some guy and I just roll my eyes and get ready for the next big heartbreak!

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lad I don't have that many friends. Don't have to worry about that sort of guy being associated with me..

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I decided no boyfriends or relationships for a few years - it was a GREAT decision and helped me be picky enough to WAIT for a REAL good guy.

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every time getting too intense, she backs off, he gets pissy with her and then its over. I never known whether to feel sorry for him, or for the girls!

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it was a GREAT decision and helped me be picky enough to WAIT for a REAL good guy.

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Constar said...

HAHAHA i think i love you. okay yes i know a few serial daters. The proper term for the actions described above is brain fucking. men are very good at brain fucking because women misconstrue the brain fuck for shy and/or confused both of which translate to " i wanna bone you" *sigh* unfortunately there's no helping these serial daters... they are addicted to the brain fuck!

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Shannon said...

I hate those dang serial killers. Dang them.

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