5.08.2010

Day 200--- En-GAUGing...



So day 200, I finally made it to you, you look better than I would have expected. You would think that I was gonna do something special to celebrate making it this far, especially after the past few months, but I'm not. Because as I see it, each day is just as special as the day before. With that being said its time to make fun of someone new... How about those people out there with excessively gauged ears... Yes, that'll work.

So if the picture that I included isn't enough to describe this atrocity or if you are one of the many blind people who subscribe to my blog in braille allow me to elaborate. Gauging is the act of taking a normal/standard sized piercing and spreading it out to the point that someone could toss a dart through the hole. Hopefully though, if you allow someone to try this they will miss on purpose and hit you somewhere towards the middle of the face-eyeball area. For no other reason than because you deserve it... I do not know why these people feel the need to try and look like they are part of some sort of Amazonian or African tribe. And lets be honest, the look isn't even cool on them, give Tim Gunn 5 minutes with the Wachootoo Tribe and he'd have them regretting that they ever decided to expand those ear lobes.

Now, I have never been close enough, nor will I ever be close enough one of these people to find out for sure. But I imagine, in my not so vivid imagination that these ear holes must smell like something that Amy Winehouse would cough up after a night of not being in rehab. I mean, its essentially a hole with stretching dying flesh, and no I'm not talking about Winehouse anymore I'm talking about the ears... You know what, maybe they don't smell at all, but chances are that anyone willing to do this to themselves probably has something wrong with them that would make them smell in the first place...

OK, gauging your ears may not be as bad as a tattoo on the face, (Mike Tyson-just in case you're still keeping up on my blog I cant believe you did that to your face) but it is easily in the same realm of idiotic decisions... I firmly believe that gauging is a gateway decision to other bad body decisions, first the ears, then you are going to want to put a small plate in your lip, then cut your tongue in half like a snake, its just an endless spiral of bad decisions. Yeah, it may be your body, but unlike an abortion the rest of us have to deal with the consequences of your bad choices along with you.

I feel like a lot of the people who do this to themselves are just upset with the way they look, and already have poor self image because of the way they look. While I understand this, because I have seen how ugly the majority of you are, let me warn you that putting multiple pieces of metal through your face is not going to properly divert attention from the ugly-ness... It actually has an odd way of accentuating it, which believe me, nobody wins when this happens. The only good thing that can come from gauging your ears and sticking an overload of metal in your head is that now you will more than likely get struck with lightning before I do, if we are standing anywhere close to each other. Which, would be a mystery in itself. Anyways that's my time.


20 comments:

Candice said...

i fecking hate this look. What happens when you take those things out? I already have piercing regret. I did my left nipple once. It's removed now but the scar tissue causes it to get erect sometimes, so I walk around the gym with one hard nipple and the other totally fine. It's pretty embarrassing.

You might know too much about me now.

Frank said...

I recently saw this hot little girl at Outpost with cute tats, and a nice smile. She couldn't have been but 25. First time I saw her, I thought to myself, "What a cute little punk rock chick. I'd do her". Next time I stopped by, she had her hair pulled back and these 1.5 inch holes in her ears with big black "gauges". I was so grossed out that I threw up in my mouth a little bit.

Allyson said...

this was funny, maybe the break helped :)

Juz said...

WHY?!?

Daisy said...

wow - that pic is disturbing. I try really hard to accept the decision people make but I will admit that I do not find gauging attractive - at ALL. And the lace down the neck?? WHHHHYYYY???? What happens when the dude gets old and his neck gets saggy?? I mean I know most "Gaugers" don't go to the extreme of the pic -but even still...

oh and lol about the smell - I doubt it smells but could be! I've never been close enough either.

wose said...

Hey, I just stumbled onto your blog, and I've got some input here..
Naturally, everyone has their own opinion (pointed as it may be), but as someone with 1" holes in their ears, I feel I have some data pertaining to this that you may be missing. First of all, the flesh is not DYING. It is very healthy, and always growing new tissue, which is what allows ears to be stretched in the first place.
Secondly, contrary to your statements, not everybody gauges their ears for reasons limited to "wanting to look Amazonian" and "poor self-esteem". For many, ear gauging is a spiritual rite, with much deeper significance than a simple cosmetic alteration. Alternatively, some people (such as myself) view the body as a manner of "canvas", another outlet for the natural human desire to create and modify. In regards to permanency, they are worlds easier and less expensive to fix than ANY tattoo; the procedure, should a gauger ever decide to go back, is so quick and simple that it does not even require anesthetic.
The smell, if the jewelry is non-porous (steel, glass, polymer), is actually not too far off from what you described so eloquently. :) However, porous jewelry (wood, horn, coconut) completely absorbs and eliminates odor. I assure you, mine smell any bit as fresh as your virgin earlobes.
I hope this didn't come off as pure drudgery. I'd like you to know that I find your writing quite funny, and do agree that facial tattoos are a spectacularly BAD idea. I have no problem with poking fun! I just like everybody to be informed.
Cheers!
wose.

crystal wine glasses said...

So apparently other than religion and politics, one should also not blog about the Olympics, touchy subject those things... Although most of you seemed to agree with my boredom there were a few people that did not. Which I fully expected, however I...

Olivia said...

they just want to get jobs at starbucks that's all. gauges indicate that someone is in their emo "my life sucks" look at me phase. Even though rational people usual skip this phase. I know someone who wants to get a corset piercing on her back. and i'm that would be a great look, if you're going for a gradiose title such as "QUEEN OF THE TRAILER TRASH"

gangstafolk.com

Olivia said...

(*i'm like) douchebags don't let you edit comments! blogger employees must have gauges.. or soulpatches..

crystal wine glasses said...

wow ! what a look ! i think its a new craze...lol you looking smart

Anonymous said...

olivia: "gauges indicate that someone is in their emo "my life sucks" look at me phase"
did u take the time to read the honest, informative comment by wose, or is ur opinion just as smal-minded as everybody elses here???
u people are the reason prejudice is still a problem, go find something bettter to do than rip on ppls appearences.

advertising company said...

It's removed now but the scar tissue causes it to get erect sometimes, so I walk around the gym with one hard nipple and the other totally fine. It's pretty embarrassing......

advertising company said...

I hope this didn't come off as pure drudgery. I'd like you to know that I find your writing quite funny, and do agree that facial tattoos are a spectacularly BAD idea. I have no problem with poking fun! I just like everybody to be informed.

Website designer Delhi said...

Wow!it is ultimate look with have new style.

Website designer Delhi said...

I have no more words to define this topic.It is really a nice post.

advertising company said...

What happens when the dude gets old and his neck gets saggy? I mean I know most "Gaugers" don't go to the extreme of the pic -but even still..

advertising company said...

It's removed now but the scar tissue causes it to get erect sometimes, so I walk around the gym with one hard nipple and the other totally fine.

Seo services kanpur said...

It is a nice look but i think it may be dangerous for body.

photo canvas said...

The guy in the pics looking horrible.
He pierced his face fully.I would say its harmful for body..

Web Designer said...

I fecking hate this look. I do not find gauging attractive - at ALL. And the lace down the neck?? WHHHHYYYY???? What happens when the dude gets old and his neck gets saggy? Its seriously Horrible!..

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