5.28.2010

Day 202--- Futonomics Anonymous...


This post has been inspired by a personal life situation. I am currently moving from one apartment to the next. When thinking about this annoying task I said to myself (in my head) "it would just be easier to sell this (nice) queen size bed and buy some small futon to move into the next place"... I realized at that point that I had lowered my standards so far that I was actually willing to sacrifice long term comfort for short term convenience... I am not yet sure if I have become that lazy or if I was just not thinking, but regardless I was inspired to do a blog about anyone over 25 (or out of college) still sleeping on a futon.

Years ago, when I first discovered the 8th wonder of the man made world "the futon", I'll have to admit that I was impressed... Couch by day and bed by night, what could be better, you didn't have to remove cushions like those pesky couch beds, you didn't have to pull it out of the wall like a Murphy bed. All you had to do was literally just push the back down, and presto, you have a bed.... But the older I get the more I realize that the good ol futon is more like the mullet of the home furnishing department. Sure it gives you both the business and the party option but it does it in such a white trash way... For instance, most people know that you have sex on your bed, but most people would imagine that there is less of a chance that you have done it bare assed on your couch... But the futon completely ruins any doubt that we would have in our minds, seeing as how the futon is the only real option...

So that is why in my opinion futons must be limited to anyone in college, or anyone up to the age of 25... Outside of this category I will assume that you are either still living at home, meaning the home you grew up in, and probably having your mom still make your lunch before she drives you to work. Or maybe you are a hippie, who has promised never to conform to the proper couch loving conformists of the world. Possibly you could be one of the guys who still lives the high school life, front row every football game of the season, (including away games), still attends and buys beer for all High school parties. That guy is allowed to have a futon. Or any single male (bachelor) over the age of 35, by this point if you are not rich, or at least well on your way you are probably going to end up living a very lonely life, so I'd say why not go for convenience on this one, probably not going to be sharing the bed anyways. Unless you look like Harrison Ford. Anyone who has a blog, or any other sort of web fascination whether it be World of Warcraft or website building, go ahead and have a futon as well, don't wanna have too much open space in the bed. Of course you could always just be in a band, or even just owning an instrument and knowing a few chords would allow you enough positive cool points to own a futon, we all know how cool people in bands are...

There is a slim possibility that I forgot one or two people from this list, but for the most part if you do not fall into any of these categories you should probably get rid of that futon and get a big boy bed... I have a feeling that most girls would find it more attractive if you slept in a big boy version of a race car bed like Missy Elliot than they would if they came over and found out that they were going to get poked on a futon. At least the car bed shows that you have a sense of humor... To those who have futons... Sleep well.

26 comments:

kaloo said...

*thumbs up* I had a futon until a couple years back, when it literally fell apart. That hurt like hell... *was in the futon at the time* Anyways I'm tall and it was too small.

At any rate I'm still a teenager so I could get away with it.(Like how I currently get away with sleeping on a bed without a frame[that also fell apart])

Kyle said...

Though I don't live at home with mom when I visit I sleep on a futon. I do not personally own a futon. I am not in a band. I do have blog. So I think it's appropriate to not have a futon according to your rules.

Knucklehead said...

"the mullet of the home furnishing department"

Brilliant.

AngeliStarr said...

I love futons. I think its pretty convenient. I wouldve had one in my bedroom cept when I was looking for a friggin bed, the futon I wanted was not in stock and I wasnt allowed to wait any longer. My mom kicked me out her living room and into my newly renovated room. -_- I wouldve so loved my futon.

Green Monkey said...

not a fan of the futon, but I like your site!

Daisy said...

omgosh - at work but laughing out loud!!! This post is CLASSIC!!! Totally love it - and sharing it on FB.

I'm in full agreement with you - no futons please!!

I think you're right about the 35 yr old comment too. I wonder why 35 is such a milestone as far as men's ages and being single... but I guess it's only fair - women have a cut-off age too.

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aflashbackwards said...

"Of course you could always just be in a band, or even just owning an instrument and knowing a few chords would allow you enough positive cool points to own a futon, we all know how cool people in bands are..."

So TRUE!

I mean, I've never actually met anyone that sleeps in a futon (is that weird?), but that pseudo-musician description is absolutely accurate.

For anything.

crystal wine glasses said...

I am such a blog dork (newbie) that I don't really know anything about formatting my blog or anything. Any good websites with guidance??

crystal wine glasses said...

Great post. Somehow I feel a bit war and fuzzy about the Hard Left taking the city council and Mayor's chair at this time. These guys will have a real problem giving away money to the druggies, aggressive pan handlers and other street losers that make Vancouver a cesspool with a view in that, you can't give away money with credit you don't have. Perhaps a lot of governments at all levels have this lesson in store for them.

Juz said...

Screw the futon!
;) Juz

Tech support said...

good post! i think its too better for read and useful to follow.

Christine Macdonald said...

Movning id always a treat eh?

lots of stories.. off to a great start.

Miss you!

xxoo

kiki

advertising company said...

Somehow I feel a bit war and fuzzy about the Hard Left taking the city council and Mayor's chair at this time. These guys will have a real problem giving away money to the druggies..

advertising company said...

I would've had one in my bedroom crept when I was looking for a frigging bed, the futon I wanted was not in stock and I wasn't allowed to wait any longer.

advertising company said...

you can't give away money with credit you don't have. Perhaps a lot of governments at all levels have this lesson in store for them.

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advertising company said...

Though I don't live at home with mom when I visit I sleep on a futon. I do not personally own a futon. I am not in a band. I do have blog.

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Filme Noi said...

great you have great explore of social media and i will definitely join you,thx

Constar said...

HAHA the mullet of the home furniture department. well said!! im not over 25 but i am out of college and i say you gots ta do what you gots ta do! and sometimes that futton is all you can get!

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