So day 200, I finally made it to you, you look better than I would have expected. You would think that I was gonna do something special to celebrate making it this far, especially after the past few months, but I'm not. Because as I see it, each day is just as special as the day before. With that being said its time to make fun of someone new... How about those people out there with excessively gauged ears... Yes, that'll work.
So if the picture that I included isn't enough to describe this atrocity or if you are one of the many blind people who subscribe to my blog in braille allow me to elaborate. Gauging is the act of taking a normal/standard sized piercing and spreading it out to the point that someone could toss a dart through the hole. Hopefully though, if you allow someone to try this they will miss on purpose and hit you somewhere towards the middle of the face-eyeball area. For no other reason than because you deserve it... I do not know why these people feel the need to try and look like they are part of some sort of Amazonian or African tribe. And lets be honest, the look isn't even cool on them, give Tim Gunn 5 minutes with the Wachootoo Tribe and he'd have them regretting that they ever decided to expand those ear lobes.
Now, I have never been close enough, nor will I ever be close enough one of these people to find out for sure. But I imagine, in my not so vivid imagination that these ear holes must smell like something that Amy Winehouse would cough up after a night of not being in rehab. I mean, its essentially a hole with stretching dying flesh, and no I'm not talking about Winehouse anymore I'm talking about the ears... You know what, maybe they don't smell at all, but chances are that anyone willing to do this to themselves probably has something wrong with them that would make them smell in the first place...
OK, gauging your ears may not be as bad as a tattoo on the face, (Mike Tyson-just in case you're still keeping up on my blog I cant believe you did that to your face) but it is easily in the same realm of idiotic decisions... I firmly believe that gauging is a gateway decision to other bad body decisions, first the ears, then you are going to want to put a small plate in your lip, then cut your tongue in half like a snake, its just an endless spiral of bad decisions. Yeah, it may be your body, but unlike an abortion the rest of us have to deal with the consequences of your bad choices along with you.
I feel like a lot of the people who do this to themselves are just upset with the way they look, and already have poor self image because of the way they look. While I understand this, because I have seen how ugly the majority of you are, let me warn you that putting multiple pieces of metal through your face is not going to properly divert attention from the ugly-ness... It actually has an odd way of accentuating it, which believe me, nobody wins when this happens. The only good thing that can come from gauging your ears and sticking an overload of metal in your head is that now you will more than likely get struck with lightning before I do, if we are standing anywhere close to each other. Which, would be a mystery in itself. Anyways that's my time.