Day 53--- Big Miss Sunshine's...

Pageant moms. What a breed these women are; ferocious, pushy, and downright dirty, just like the camera crew from Girls Gone Wild. I imagine they came from the same background as the dads who never made it into college football. Therefore, they force their sons into it starting at age 3 hoping to live vicariously through them one day. This is just a guess, but small town mom's and dad's all across this country are constantly proving my theory true.

My inspiration for today's blog came from the new Drew Barrymore flick "Whip It", I'm not going to go into detail about the movie, but I will tell you that they all die in the end. It was weird. Kidding. (Bliss) Ellen Page's mom in the movie, played by someone you'd recognize but not important enough for me to remember or IMDB was one of these crazy pageant mom's. I think she played it perfectly, rabies, drool, and all. Ellen (Bliss) was a 17 year old who cared zero about these pageants, she just wanted to dress hipster and play roller derby, (Which I'm assuming can get very fun once cow tipping and picking bluebonnets gets old) but that was not as lucrative as these pageants in her mom's eyes. There were a lot of little conflicts in the movie, but this was the main one, causing the strain on her and her mom's relationship. Just download it online and you can see what I mean.

The point is though, that these deranged mom's realize they have nothing going in their own lives so they are going to force their kids to be something they never could be, or could have been. It's blatant, scary, and it's crazy. Thank God my mom only forced me to take ballet til I was 13 before I had the balls to tell her I was not gonna live her dream any longer. I understand all families, scratch that, most families want their kids to be great, but you don't see Asian families dressing their kids up as doctors, taking them to work and forcing them to learn procedures. You don't see black families dressing their kids up as rappers and basketball players, unless you watch Maury. (Please catch my sarcasm before you comment)... So, then why do these white southern moms who didn't do squat with their lives feel like it is their duty to force their daughters or sons (some are boys) into these things. It's got to be some sort of sickness. In most cases at least.

There are a few documentaries out there that give us a peek into the madness and what I have seen has made me sick. These poor little girls crying from pain, embarrassment, losing, like its the end of the world, it's pitiful. They get yelled at for messing up walks, or forgetting parts in speeches. I can only imagine what the "such as, like, such as," girl's mom from Miss America would have done to her if she was back stage. May have been worse than the whole world realizing she was an idiot, but really America, we don't expect pretty girls to also be smart do we??? (joking Ms. F. Scott;).

I would like to see this all in reverse, when these girls get old enough, I'd love to see them put their mothers into nursing home's and then make them do geriatric beauty pageants. Big blue wigs, make up, tight dresses, I'd be there for every moment of it, sweet sweet revenge. For all the football forcing dad's we would have wheelchair fights. "I'll give you a reason to cry!", "Oh, your hip is broken, well I didn't want to play football!"... OK sorry. Tangent, you guys let me have too much freedom on this thing.

The bottom line is that these brat breeders need to be contained.