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Today I have selected a group of people that I thought would have died out with the disappearance of the VHS tape at the very latest... I was mistaken, although there are not millions of them out there, a few still lurk the streets... If you guessed people who use handkerchiefs, you would not be mistaken...
Truly this is an nasal evacuation art-form that has the sanitation police everywhere up in arms. Nothing seems less appealing to me than carrying around something that I have blown my nose in, only to open it up again later and put my nose back where it doesn't belong... OK, for a brief moment I can understand the necessity back in the day prior to tissues and proper toilet paper, but that excuse is out the window... and so is my brief moment of understanding. I would honestly rather see someone straight up picking their nose, or wiping the snot on their sleeve than to know they are recycling snot rags... I know from first hand tissue experience that you have to be a very crafty individual to even get in 2 decent blows on a normal tissue. So how much unused area do you really have each time you go back to the hanky? Not much is the answer to that question...
The fact that people wash them after using grosses me out even more, granted, that is the point of the whole recycle-ability behind them. But just to think people are still tossing snot-caked napkins into the wash with the rest of their clothes is enough to make me dry heave. And I'm a pretty gross dude myself, plenty of people could attest to that I'm sure... But I don't think I could ever sink this low. I mean, what happens when they have a really ummm big one, how can they be OK putting that back into their pocket?... and what happens if it gets squished around in there? Ah, ew, imagine...
You may think that these things are only still used by old people, but nay. One of my very good friends from high school carried one around with him every day, and probably still does, he had a whole damn collection of these things, even a few with his initials on them... Yeah, he was hardcore. Having been friends with someone who frequented the pocket snot rocket socket, I know all too well that no amount of ridicule is going to slow these boogers down... We need to find another way to get people to stop using these things... Normal business thinking would tell us to just raise prices on them, but I imagine if they were really dedicated users they would form a black market, or start cutting up t-shirts and blankets. Maybe we could start issuing tickets, or citizens arrests, any ideas?... Cus' I'm out...
