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Like I've said before I am certainly far from a fashion guru, I like being comfortable, I'm a t-shirt and shorts kind of guy. I have all sorts of nice fancy clothes but you will usually find me in some basketball shorts, a cut off shirt, and if I can help it commando (I like to breathe so do my boys). I am not going to say that I am the right authority to pass judgement, I am certainly no Michael Kors. However, as I do on a daily basis I am going to give my 2 cents. Today I will verbally rape the douche bags who wear Ed Hardy, hopefully they walk away limping.
About a week ago I was at Disneyland just minding my own business, when out of nowhere pranced a gay couple clad in matching Ed Hardy shirts. Its amazing how fast the happiest place on earth can turn into the saddest place on earth. Not only were they wearing matching Ed Hardy shirts red and black tiger across the back, but they were wearing obviously FAKE Ed Hardy shirts with a red and black tiger across the back. I thought gay people were supposed to have fashion sense, clearly they checked that at the door along with their dignity. When I think about it I don't know what is more disturbing, the fact that two grown men were wearing matching shirts or the fact that they probably still paid $35 for a Fruit of the Loom shirt that some Asian man ironed an Ed Hardy logo onto in his basement.
For those of you in middle America, or in other countries who have yet be probed by this fashion disaster, consider yourselves lucky. This is the new company for douche bag frat boys, Jersey Guido's, and celebrities without stylists. Pretty much only worn by people that you would want to punch in the face. So I give you all permission to do that to any you may encounter, sure there may be some innocent tourist who picked one up on Canal Street, but this is a chance I am willing to take, many times over.
I don't have all the facts on company history, but I believe it was formed when Von Dutch took a dump. If you were fortunate enough to have dodged the Von Dutch fad, it was another popular company about 5 years ago formed when I took a dump. So for that I apologize to the world.
Ed Hardy is described as a vintage tattoo wear company that manages to charge upwards of $100 for a t-shirt. Apparently this is for those people who like the look of tattoo's but have problems committing. Also for idiots who think it is reasonable or acceptable to pay $100+ for a t-shirt while there are starving children around the world. A majority of the designs are anything but "bad ass", they look more like someone stuck a 4 year old, a box of crayons, and a Bedazzler in a room and said, "hey design a shirt",(they probably didn't even say please).
I would like to stage a boycott, but I am going to go ahead and assume that anyone who reads my blog has enough sense to have never purchased anything from them before. I hope. What we should do though is treat these shirts like Peta does fur and start dumping buckets of paint on these people when you see them on the street. Of course you cant always be carrying around paint, I understand, so in this case spit will do just fine. You don't need to use your words, just dump or spit and walk away, they will get the point. Eventually. Thank you in advance for your participation.
