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After yesterdays blog I was quite pleased to see that most of my readers have a similar fear of the Snuggie cult... It's nice to be on the same page... Today's group was recommended by my little sister, like 10 times, for some reason it is one of the only groups that is a constant annoyance to her. Which is strange considering the fact you usually only have to see this person once or twice a year, the chatterbox dentist...
Now when she first mentioned this to me I thought to myself that there was no way that I could make an entire blog about dentists who talk too much, but I intend to prove myself wrong. I mean, I was the kid in high school who could write an A book report full of BS just by reading the back of the book... See look, half a paragraph in and I haven't said anything pertinent, but you didn't notice, you were so enthralled by my wit and banter that you were totally digging it... OK, on to the dentist... You know the ones that I am talking about right? The guys you feel the need to play 20 questions while they are fisting your mouth, or have their fist in your mouth. I realize you probably want something to talk about to distract you from my breath, but now isn't the best time... I mean its like trying to have a conversation with a deaf person who is playing video games, don't plan on getting a response anything more than a grunt. I know you guys have all thought this while you are sitting there wishing he would just shut up. If you really need to talk at least ask questions with the potential for yes or no answers, then I can attempt a nod or some level one sign language while you have that little mini hook in my mouth.
I wonder if maybe they are just playing a game with us to see how well we talk with things in our mouth... I'm hoping that it is something more along these lines as opposed to them just not realizing the awkwardness of the situation. Besides, I know you don't care what the answer is to any of my questions, so we can skip the small talk. You are not my hair stylist or my nail lady, I am not comfortable sharing gossipy information with anyone who posts their degrees on the wall. It is kind of weird how they all seem to have such soothing voices though, its like a mix between a librarian, a hypnotist, and Michael Buble' at least in my experience. Personally I think they should just learn a long poem or a cool scene from a movie and recite it as they work, or just get the flat screen, hang it in the corner and shut up all together, this would work as well. While I'm on the subject of dentists, what is their un-healthy obsession with flossing? It's like they are sponsored by the stuff... I brush my teeth, since when is that not enough? Besides, maybe I want gingivitis, it sounds pretty cool...
Mr. Knucklehead, you're a chatty dentist aren't you? Thats two days in a row (tryin)! I bet you wear your Snuggie while you talk to patients don't you?... OK, maybe not, coulda just been something I dreamt up. Hey look guys, a full blog, and you said I couldn't do it.
