Day 22--- Who Are You???

If you have Facebook then I'm sure you are used to getting invites for applications, parties, and fan clubs every time you log in. Its annoying but we deal with it to stay connected to our friends and acquaintances. These things are the items that keep Facebook interesting for hours a day. However, the thing that still boggles my mind is all these people with fan clubs for themselves. I'm not talking about famous people who have actual fans that make them clubs to show support. I'm talking about the people that I work with who have created themselves their own fan profile's. Not only do they create these themselves but they actually have the nerve to email me and ask you and I to join.

It is not normal to ask people to be your fan, this is something that needs to be allowed to happen naturally. I do check most of them out to see if they have some hidden talent that I never noticed before. Sadly most of them do not, and by most I'm mean like 9 out of 10. Sometimes its like they are not even trying. They don't have video or song links, they are not famous on Youtube, they simply have a page with their head shot and a bunch of 19 year old fans who will click yes on anything you ask them to. Its mind boggling that people are so narcissistic to think, "I know we are barely friends, but maybe you'll want to be my fan", "no, no I'm not famous I thought maybe you'd want to join this site Ive dedicated and started for myself. I really do chuckle every time I get new request to join one. I may be one of the most self centered, self promoting people that I know and I don't even have my own fan site (yet, ha ha). If I wont join Mila Kunis or Justin Timberlake's Fan page when I would marry either one of them, then you can damn sure guarantee that I'm not trying to be your fan. Trust. Its no offense to you, you are just not important enough or famous enough for me to pretend like I care. People who click yes are really just doing it so that you will stop sending them requests, I still refuse, I would rather deny you every time I sign on than succumb to the pressure. You guys very well may be famous some day, but for the time being focus more on singing in your mirror and less on trying to have fans pre-fame.

In 2 months when I'm adding you to my fan club. Disregard this blog :).....

Day 21--- Bawitdaba.

When did a wife-beater become a proper replacement for clothes? Never. That's what I thought. Then why do so many guys these days get away with wearing them in public. They must be looking up to Kid Rock for fashion tips. You must know if Kid Rock were actually invited to or allowed at any important events he would get worst dressed every time (unless maybe it was an NRA meeting). Trusting Kid Rocks fashion sense would be about as wise as letting Stevie Wonder drive you home from work.

A wife-beater is commonly known as an undershirt which is exactly where they should be, under a shirt. I only think negative thoughts when I see a guy walking around in these white skin tight distractions, they may as well be wearing body paint. You know that its not only the fit guys who wear them either, commonly it is the fat, old, hairy, guys who actually are wife beaters. It makes sense that they would be sporting one of the shirts, but its unnecessary to advertise your quality of life. When I see some dude wearing one I wonder where they parked there trailer or what Wal-Mart they work at, never gee what college did he go to. I'm sure all the females that they are trying to impress don't want to be forced to look at their moobs (man-boobs) either. We all know that our government is going to slowly take away freedoms over the next few years, this is one I would not mind losing. I realize the Jerry Springer show may have to up their wardrobe budget, but I for one am willing to allow them to make that sacrifice. I know buying full shirts may be a bit pricey for those who usually stick to beaters, but maybe Obama can start a program, he's done a great job with those thus far. Plus you know once they get one shirt they are gonna cut the sleeves off and wear it every day anyways, Larry the Cable Guy style. Plus where there is a wife beater you know a mullet is not far behind, and that is just a double negative. So join my campaign to stop the abuse of wife beaters everywhere!

Day 20--- Let He Who is Without Sin Cast the First Stone...

P.K. is a common nickname for today's subjects; "preacher's kids". Its pretty easy to see how they got their abbreviation. See you take the first letter of preacher and the first letter of kid and put them together with a period in between and after. That's how we get the term P.K..

Now that a bit of the history is out of the way let me get down to the nitty gritty. I will forewarn you that I'm aware when religious subjects come up people tend to get defensive. With that said I still decided this was the topic for today and I'm willing to deal with comments. Keep in mind though, as with any of these things I write, I know that there are exceptions to everything.

You may think that with a walking talking Bible at home they would be a little more on the reserved side. In my experience with P.K.'s, its been quite the contrary. They have seemed to be like those catholic schoolgirls; that the moment the bell rings they pull their skirts and socks up and unbutton a few buttons on their shirts. (Not that I blame them, those skirts are uncomfortable, just ask Britney Spears)...

Children of preachers always seem to start their revolt around 13/14 years old, 8Th grade or H.S.. It usually starts with the music, they go from DC Talk and gospel to Bone Thugs, Eminem, and DMX (OK, maybe that was just me). They justify by saying that the song "Crossroads" talks about heaven and God, so the parents allow it. From the music they change their clothes, once they change their style they are accepted into a different group of friends. This new group of friends allows them to be more susceptible to the things of this world; sex, drugs, and rock-n-roll. (Like I said before this is a clear over-generalization, but I have grown up in church while moving around, and witnessed this first hand more than once. Maybe its a rebellion toward their parents, maybe towards organized religion, or maybe they just realized who "they" really are. I don't know where the behavior change stems from, but I do know that it exists.

The ones who make it past the rebellion stage without turning into Ozzy Osbourne wannabes typically go on to follow in the fathers footsteps, starting the cycle over again. Now, I'm not making light of losing faith or rebellion against parents. I'm simply observing and reporting what Ive witnessed, its a blog (this is not TV where everything is true people). When beings are under constant scrutiny to believe things or to act a certain way it appears once given enough freedom they do the opposite just because. Its like if you never let your dog play outside, every time the door opens he is going to try and bolt. Not to compare P.K.'s to humans, but you get the point.

There is one thing to say though, in my experience with them they are almost always the life of the party. This may be because they grew up with no TV in their home. Thus forcing them to devise games where you drink the top shelf sacrament wine papa had hidden, followed by jumping off of furniture. I don't know why they called him papa, it just felt more forbidden that way. Nothing else to say.

Watch out for these crazy sons of P.K.'s (daughters too)

Peace be with you... And Also with you.

Day 19--- Trust Me. It's Not Going Over Our heads.

"If you love something let it go, if it comes back to you it was meant to be, if it doesn't then please don't buy a toupee".

I don't know if that's exactly how the saying goes, but for the purposes of this blog. It is. Every time I see someone wearing a hideous head piece I think to myself. Self, "do they really think the rat on their head looks better than just being bald?". You can always go Mr. Clean and shave it. Granted you're gonna end up spending more on razors and sunscreen, but at least you are not going to have a Donald Trump situation going on up there. Believe me, as one of the most judgey people watchers on earth, you will be taken way more seriously without the hat of hair. You may as well be wearing a piece of scrap metal on your head because everyone knows its not really yours. Even more importantly, if people ever tell you that your hair looks good. They are lying, they know you are self conscious about it and they are either mocking you are trying to make you feel better. Even little kids can tell when you are wearing horse hair, which is awful because you know they point out everything.

I saw this dude the other night with like a deep red toupee that may as well have been Davy Crockett's raccoon hat. His sideburns were long and gray, his hair was red, come on buddy even Helen Keller would laugh at you for this mistake. (the joke being that she is blind)... I do feel bad that you are losing your hair before you were ready to, but I instantly stop caring when you think you can trick me with an entry mat you've glued crookedly to your dome. You are insulting me and my intelligence at this point and now I go from feeling sorry to feeling upset.

The bottom line is that you are not fooling anyone, not even five year old's. So if you'd like to save any dignity at all, from either dodging stares or a big gust of wind, shave and put a damn hat on. One without hair glued to it.

PS. Ill get to weaves another day.

Day 18--- Aint That Some Bull Twit...

Have you ever just wanted to know what your friends are doing at every moment of the day??? Well, do I have the thing you've been looking for! TWITTER!...

Twitter-er's are the people you see attached to their phones and computers at all times. (me) They have to be, otherwise they would not be able to let all of their friends know what TV show they just watched, or what they found when they cleaned out their closet. If they were not with phone in hand 24-7 they would have no idea that one of their friends just finished their laundry and is now making their bed.

I dont know the exact reason Twitter was made, but I think it was to make us feel onmipotent, it allows you to be all places at once and semi-all knowing (in the shallowest sense of the word). Maybe another part of the excitement is that there are so many celebrities who Twitter, and because they are famous they must be doing much cooler stuff than us commoners. And if they are on Twitter and we can follow them, maybe we can live vicariously through them. (im really looking for reasons here)

So yes, I made one, I'm a Twit. Im still learning the ins and outs, but thus far no one has been hurt, (other than my dignity) so im enjoying myself. There is not too much else to say about Twitter-ers, we like to be connected, we like to know whats going on. We network.

Its like when you were young and it was time for bed, you fought to stay up as long as you could but it didnt work. So to make you feel better your mom said, "dont worry, if anyone farts we'll bottle it so you dont miss too much" (ok maybe that was just my mom)... I guess ever since then I just wanted to be in the know, and now thanks to Twitter, I am. You may say, "isnt that what Facebook and Myspace is for?"... Yes, yes they are, but honestly Twitter is so much less, and thats what makes Twitter so great!

Tweet me------> http://twitter.com/Holman365

A few random tweets (trending topics):

Hey Arnold was a good show! hah :p

all this talk about #Ben & Jerry's is really making me crave icecream. NOT okay.1 minute ago from web

This new jay-z album is not bad.....I may have to get it for my archives lol2 minutes ago from web
thank god i dont have a Chubby Hubby2 minutes ago from web